Joe Biden
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A Black Woman Just Won the Presidential Debate Between Two Old White Men
It only took one practice run, a positive coronavirus diagnosis, the refusal to have a virtual debate, a Black female moderator, and the threat of a mute button to finally have a civilized and adult presidential debate. And by adult, I mean that the president of people who believe that he is the least racist…
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Here's What Will Happen After Election Day
This is the second half of our two-part series predicting the likeliest scenarios for the 2020 election and its aftermath. Who will win the 2020 presidential election? When will we know who won the 2020 election? What happens if the results are challenged? Who in the hell left the gate open? Was it the same…
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Meet Kristen Welker, the 1st Black Woman to Moderate a Presidential Debate Solo in Almost 30 Years
Even though tens of millions of American voters have already made up their minds about who ought to be the next president of the United States, many are still expected to tune into tonight’s final presidential debate between Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden and President Donald Trump. In the middle of the brouhaha will be…
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QAnon Supporter? Osama Bin Laden Is Still Alive? How Trump Stole the Battle of the Town Halls but Not the Voters
President Trump knows how to make good TV. While he might be delusional in just about every aspect of his presidency, he’s not lying when he boasts that his Apprentice ratings were sky high. The president understands one thing that has always worked in his favor: crazy sells. And last night was no different. Instead…
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Sen. Kamala Harris Halts Campaign Travel After Staffer Tests Positive for COVID-19
Not today, Satan. I see what you are trying to do and I rebuke you in the name of our Lord and savior, Robyn Rihanna Fenty. California Sen. Kamala Harris, Joe Biden’s running mate to take down the beasts from Lovecraft Country that inhabit the White House, has halted campaign travel after two people—a flight…
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President Petty and NBC to Host Town Hall on Same Day and Time as Biden’s Town Hall on ABC
President COVID-45, the same man who refused to host a Zoom debate, will now take part in a NBC News town hall event in Miami on the same day and same time as Joe Biden is set to have his town hall. Remember, Biden had to pivot to a town hall after the COVID-19 positive…
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A List of Things the Biden Campaign's Battle Rap Ad Inspire Me to Vote For
1. Pestilence 2. Plague 3. Asteroids 4. COVID 5. Trump
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Goddamnit, Joe. Not Like This: Biden Campaign Launches Battle Rap Ad
I hate when old people do this. You know the thing where they try to show that they are hip and not old and they wade into the hip waters and start throwing “jiggy” into their normal conversations except they pause right after they use the word for acknowledgment that they are in fact “cool.”…
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Trump Won’t Do Virtual Debate, Wants to Take His Coronavirus on the Road Instead
President Trump wants to yell at Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden in person or he doesn’t want to yell at all. On Thursday, the organizing commission of the debates announced that in order to protect Biden from getting the president’s coronavirus—which the president claims is gone and healed, because God—they wanted to move the debates…
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Michelle Obama Did Not Come to Play With You or Your Little Friends in Voter Video Message: ‘7 Months Later and He Still Won’t Wear a Mask’
The former first lady took a break from exfoliating, drinking water from the Nigerian Alps and frolicking in a garden covered in angel feathers to make a final pitch to the American people–to whom she owes nothing—to “vote for Joe Biden like your lives depend on it.” In a recently released and highly critical 24-minute…