Joe Biden
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Reporter to Biden: ‘Have You Taken a Cognitive Test?’ Biden to Reporter: ‘Are You a Junkie?’
In the perpetual and cumulative colostomy bag that is 2020, the “I can’t make this shit up” cornucopia of crazy just runneth over. We basically have a presidential race between an overtly racist egg dyed with way too much orange food coloring, and a subtle racist-y egg. Both eggs are about as sharp as a…
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Rumored VP Candidate Rep. Karen Bass Explains Video of Her Praising Church of Scientology, Denounces Fidel Castro
Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif.) is doing plenty of walking back this weekend after increased media scrutiny into her past statements, amid reports that she is one of a few Black women under consideration for Joe Biden’s running mate position. On Saturday, the Congresswoman responded to a video recently unearthed by The Daily Caller which shows…
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Did Joe Biden Accidentally Show His VP Pick to the World Before She Was Camera-Ready?
Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden—God, I wish he would just call the number on his credit card and activate his presidency so we can stop calling him presumptive—was seen with what appears to be his vice presidential cheat sheet and it’s looking a lot like Kamala Harris. Well, Biden was caught holding Joseph R. Biden,…
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Joe Biden: Trump Is a Racist. Also Joe Biden: Desegregation Will Have My Kids Growing Up in a 'Racial Jungle'
I’m not being flippant or facetious or any other f-word when I say that I really want former Vice President Joe Biden to shut the fuck up. If I say, “God is good—all the time!” I don’t want to hear Joe Biden say a fucking word. If I say “the roof…the roof..the roof is on…
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Will Whoever Left Their Crazy Racist Uncle in the White House, Come Get Him. He’s Tweeting Again
The president of people who believe that ketchup is spicy knows that barring Russian interference, a Twitter hack or some other form of espionage, his best chance to stay in the White House is to use Twitter to create fear and pandemonium, so he is doing just that. Around noon Wednesday, before the president punched…
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Trump Calls Conservative OnlyFans and Proceeds to Lie About Acing a Cognitive Test
President Trump wants America to know one thing: He is the most cognitive president to ever cognitive, and when it comes to cognitive functions, he will out cognitive Olympic-level cognitive motherfuckers because when it comes to cognitive shit, he’s acing it. On Thursday, Trump told Fox News, aka conservative OnlyFans, that doctors who gave him…
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Joe Biden Says Statues of Christopher Columbus, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington Should Be Protected
In a world where you, an elderly white man, are in a presidential race in which you are trying to defeat the super boss evil overlord orange elderly white man with the (alleged) Adderall sniffs, how do you overcome his rabidly racist base while still trying to seemingly stay on the side of right? If…
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No, Symone Sanders Won't Shut Up—and She Doesn't Think We Should, Either
Later this summer, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden will announce his running mate—and it’s widely presumed he will choose one of the many dynamic Black women who have risen to the top of the political sphere (and its adjacent headlines) in recent years. But as anyone watching the Biden camp knows, he already has a…
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Joe Biden Just Wrote That He Wants to Give Police More Money, and He Totally Needs to STFU
I don’t know how many times I need to say this, but Joe Biden needs to only be rolled out to the American public three times: Once to say that he’s picked a black woman to be his vice president, another time so he can say “Black Lives Matter” and the last time to say…