impeachment
-
Impeachment Season Is Drawing to a Close: Donald Trump’s Senate Trial to Begin This Week
Folks, it’s time to steam that impeachment outfit. The Senate impeachment trial of Donald J(ulius d’Orange) Trump will begin this week, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. The timeline was spurred by an announcement today from Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) that the House will vote on a resolution moving the impeachment process forward on…
-
Dimes Dropped: Lev Parnas Turns Over Thousands of Documents to Impeachment Investigators
One imagines that President Trump and his best bud Rudy Giuliani are probably sleeping a little less easy tonight as one of their former associates has apparently flipped. CNN reports that Lev Parnas, associate of Rudy Giuliani, has turned over photos, texts and thousands of documents to House impeachment investigators. Parnas, along with his partner…
-
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to Send Articles of Impeachment to the Senate
Over the past couple of weeks the House and the Senate have been in a standoff over the articles of impeachment. There has been much speculation over when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would transfer the articles over to the Senate. Now, that speculation can be put to rest. Politico reports that on Friday afternoon, Pelosi…
-
Mitch McConnell Is Prepared to Push Impeachment Trial Rules Forward Without Democrats
In what continues to be an impeachment trial tug of war over whether witnesses would be allowed to testify, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell might’ve drummed up enough support to pass his version of rules that would halt Democrats’ push to call for new evidence and witnesses until after the trial begins. According to Politico, no…
-
Former National Security Adviser John Bolton to Go Full Tekashi 6ix9ine, Says He’s Ready to Testify
In what can only be described as the biggest switch since The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air replaced dark-skinned Aunt Viv with light-skinned Aunt Viv and acted like nothing happened, former national security adviser John Bolton now claims that he’s ready to testify in Trump’s Senate impeachment trial. On Monday, out of the clear blue sky,…
-
South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham Is Willing to Risk It All for Love
I’m convinced that President Trump has several photos of a buck-naked Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) holding an equally naked goat in a seedy hotel room lit only by Russian-prostitute-urine-scented candles, as we’ve not seen this level of commitment since this cat saw bacon. Over the weekend, Senate Judiciary Chairman Lindsey Graham, once a respected member of…
-
Facing an Impeachment Trial, Trump Orders Airstrike, Killing Iranian Commander; Iran Vows to Retaliate
So it begins. Facing a Senate impeachment trial and approval ratings that have fallen lower than the price of a VCR, Trump has pulled a play out of the Wag the Dog playbook and authorized a drone airstrike that killed Qasem Soleimani, head of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps Quds Force, setting the stage for…
-
Sen. Susan Collins Can Take a Long Walk Off a Short Pier
Every now and again, Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) tries to act like she’s an actual politician who is open to hearing all the evidence before making a decision. It’s a masterful piece of work. Like that time during Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing, where Collins acted like she was concerned about his abhorrent…
-
Resist! Maxine Waters Stayed True to Her Purpose of Impeaching the Orange Menace
On this fifth day of Kwanzaa, we celebrate Nia, which means purpose, and also surges in popularity as a name every time Nia Long releases a film. “Imani” is the only other principle that even comes close, according to research from the Love Jones Institute for Boyz in the Hood. My aunt Kujchagulia Ujima Jenkins…
-
Republican Gets Spine for Christmas, Finds That Mitch McConnell Is Shady AF
In news that can only be described as shocking, Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski told an Anchorage TV station that she’s “disturbed” by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-Ky.) admission that he’s already decided his position on Trump’s impeachment. McConnell, the result of a turtle falling in love with a boat shoe and having unprotected sex,…