eric trump
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Somebody Spit on Eric Trump
Chicago police and the U.S. Secret Service detained a woman Tuesday evening on suspicion of second-degree loogie-hocking after the dumber of the Trump siblings reported that a bartender had extended the city’s traditional gesture of disapproval by spitting in Eric Trump’s stupid, stupid face. The Daily Beast reports that the Secret Service questioned an employee…
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Trump's Doral Resort Suffering Under the Dictator's Presidency; Net Income Drops 69 Percent in Two Years
This very well could be one of those Trump tax schemes in which he grossly undervalues the property and the income on his resort in order to avoid paying taxes, but one of the crown jewels in Trump’s property portfolio is grossly underperforming. According to a scathing Washington Post report, the Trump National Doral resort…
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Eric Trump Invited Himself Into Kellyanne Conway’s Marriage and Then Promptly Regretted It
Eric Trump is a Trump, which means a few things. First, it means that he’s going to do some really stupid shit often. Second, it means that he’s going to do really stupid shit more times than not. And lastly, it means that he’s going to do a lot of stupid shit. On Tuesday, the…
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Trump Directed Son Eric and Michael Cohen to Keep Stormy Daniels Quiet: Report
Ever since Trump took office it was always unclear as to what Eric Trump’s role would be. For years he collected unemployment as an out-of-work vampire and technically, he’s only qualified to be a greeter at the White House front entrance. But a new report seems to show Count Trumpula’s official role: Snitch Silencer. According…
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Eric Trump: My Father Has to Block Out Negative Media or He’d End Up Killing Himself
So President Donald Trump’s son Eric Trump, aka Lil’ Vampire Face, aka Third Place, aka Bronze, aka Gopher Smile, says that his father has to block out the constant, negative (yet accurate) news coverage of his dismal presidency because if he engaged it, it could lead to depression and possibly make him suicidal. I think…
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White House Pushes Questionable Video
RTDNA Blasts ‘Possible “Fake News”’ Trump Launches Personal Attack on Mika Brzezinski Eric Trump Joins His Father’s War on Media Russell Named Editor of Commercial Appeal Memphis Paper Explores Runaway Gun Violence Critic Says Enough With Nude Pregnant Covers Black Lives Matter Said to Be Losing Traction Chicago Papers React to Cops’ Indictment Tips on…
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We Need to Talk About Eric Trump’s New Nazi Haircut
This weekend Eric Trump, the jawline-less son of our tweeter in chief, debuted a new haircut. The Twitterverse immediately recognized the style from Richard Spencer and historic photos of Adolf Hitler, the German chancellor known for his Third Reich sleepaway camps (or—as White House spokesman Sean Spicer rebranded them—“Holocaust centers”). Although the controversy is larger…
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Eric ‘Vampire Face’ Trump: Dems Aren’t Even People
First and foremost, do we have proof that Eric Trump is not a vampire? He seriously looks as if he has actual vampire DNA; and if, in fact, the second Trump not named Ivanka is a bloodsucking revenant, then his comments made during a recent Fox News appearance make perfect sense. Eric “Vampire Diaries” Trump…
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Trump's Winery Wants to Get Visas for Foreign Workers
Turns out President-elect Donald Trump does want immigrants to stay in this country and work—as long as he and his family reap the benefits. Having run for president on a platform that included building a wall to keep immigrants out, Trump’s Virginia vineyard, owned by his son Eric, has applied for temporary work visas for…