Donald Trump
-
It’s On Now: Jeff Sessions to Testify in Public Hearing Tuesday
Attorney General Jeff “I Hate Weed” Sessions will testify in a public hearing in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday afternoon. But before we get too excited, remember that Sessions is a liar who met with Russians and completely forgot that he met with Russians during his confirmation hearing for attorney general. He…
-
Melania Trump Moves Into the White House; Hopefully She Can Bring the Old Man Home With Her
Melania Trump has the distinction of being the first first lady who’s posed before the world with her hand over her naked vagina. President Donald Trump is the first president to be caught on tape saying he grabs women “by the pussy.” I see why they love each other. This weekend, Trump’s wife stopped costing…
-
Former Mexican President Vicente Fox Just Handed Donald Trump His Ass in a Taco Bowl and It Is Hilarity
The former president of Mexico, Vicente “I Ain’t Paying for No Fucken Wall” Fox, recently recorded a little note for President Donald Trump. Fox begins his chat with Trump by calling him “the current president of the Electoral College of the United States.” And it just gets better from there. If you need a good…
-
The Root to Host a #TrumpRoast to ‘Celebrate’ Your President’s Birthday
Your president, Donald Trump, turns 71 in just a few days, and honestly, I don’t care. What I do care about is getting the chance to poke fun at 45 with black comedians who are obviously hilarious but brilliant, too. We’re inviting you to join us in all the roasting fun! On Tuesday, June 13,…
-
Trump: I’m Willing to Testify Under Oath About Comey’s Claims; Also, the President Is a Big-Ass Liar
We have a better chance that Birdman will release Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter V than that President Donald Trump will release the James Comey mixtape, and here’s why: There ain’t no tape! He knows it, Comey knows it, everyone knows it; and Trump practically confirmed it Friday during a Rose Garden news conference with Romanian…
-
President Twitter Fingas Is Back Like He Never Left
Well, you knew Ol’ Donnie Boy wasn’t going to stay off Twitter forever. It took the president of white nationalism only a day to tweet his thoughts about former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony. I will admit that this was an unusually short Twitter tirade, but it covered the usual tone-deaf bases that we’ve come…
-
Comey Testimony Proves Trump Belongs on Set of Horrible Bosses 3, Not the White House
The biggest reveal in the testimony Thursday of former FBI Director James Comey wasn’t about Russia; it wasn’t about Michael Flynn, or even electoral hacking. It was about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad boss Donald Trump is. America is stuck with the most Horrible Boss ever, and rather than protect us, the Republicans…
-
The Best Part Of The Comey Hearing Is Watching These White Men Throw Bags Of Piss At Each Other
Look, I don’t know what’s going to be the result of all of this. Does the Darth Cheeto get impeached or, at the very least, decheetoed? I don’t know! Does Jeff The Baby-Faced Bigot Sessions resign? Who knows! Do the Cavs sign James Comey tonight to give them some last-minute rim protection? I have no…
-
Damn, Comey, in High School You Was the Man; WTF Happened to You?
Today was #ComeyDay, the day that the former FBI director testified in front of a Senate committee about secret stuff that we never get to hear about that goes on between an FBI director and the president of the United States, who, in this case, is also a damn buffoon. For many people like myself,…
-
Watch James Comey Spill All the Tea Here
Like Trump Impeachment Christmas or Nerd Super Bowl, the day has finally arrived. Ex-FBI Director James Comey is set to testify before members of Congress as to what went on behind the scenes with President Donald Trump and his on-again, on-again girlfriend, Mother Russia. Hopefully, Comey won’t hold anything back, and hopefully, he will be…