Donald Trump
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Hillary Is Not Your White Savior
This weekend I had the misfortune to read Roxane Gay’s recent New York Times op-ed, in which she reflects on Charlottesville, Va., and waxes poetic about how much she wishes Hillary Clinton had won. She writes: I keep thinking about how different things would be if Hillary Clinton had been elected president. I was, like…
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Make It Last Forever (Keith Sweat Voice), Don’t Let Our War End: Afghanistan Edition
President Donald Trump is becoming a master at the nonspeech speech, and nothing says nonspeech like Monday’s treatise on the 16-year war in Afghanistan. Every man who has ever been caught cheating has given a nonspeech. It works like this: Throw out tons of misdirection; offer some truth; admit some fault—usually not the fault that…
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What White Men Fear Most Is Coming to Pass … They’re Being Erased. Isn’t That Ironic?
Every day, since Heather Heyer lost her life at the hands of white supremacists, and our president abdicated his moral authority by not thoroughly condemning them, America and its politicians seem to have grown a conscience (or a pair). Since the carnage of Charlottesville, Va., politicians, especially those who once sought to drill down on…
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The Secret Service Is Going Broke Protecting Y’all’s Baller in Chief
We’re not even two-thirds of the way through 2017, and the Secret Service has damn near run out of money because Donald “D. Diddy” Trump insists on living like he’s perpetually on the set of a ’90s rap video. According to USA Today, more than 1,000 agents have already hit the limit for their salary…
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Donald Trump Looked Directly Into the Eclipse and Unfortunately Did Not Spontaneously Combust
If there was one thing I wished to happen during all of this eclipse hoopla, it was for Donald Trump to somehow spontaneously combust after looking at it directly. Little did I realize that the president, like many other people, would be dumb enough to look directly at the eclipse without eye protection. But, of…
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Should Black Folks Trust the FBI’s Russia Investigation, Given Its History of Targeting Our Communities?
Why trust the FBI or any intelligence agency on Russia? They targeted civil rights activists for years. We really don’t have proof of the Russians doing anything. Why trust these agencies now? These are completely legitimate questions that I hear from black folks from time to time on social media and in person. I get…
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How ’Bout This, Tina Fey: Give Us (Black People) the Sheet Cake, and You Go Confront the White Women Who Voted for Trump
I’m going to keep this short, because it’s Friday evening and I have shit to do.* I generally like Tina Fey. She is one of my favorite people in comedy. And I did laugh at her sheet-cake bit. Even if the premise was all fucked up—more on that in a minute—the actual jokes (aside for…
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After Getting the Boot, Bannon Wants to Go to War? Great, Let Them Hos Fight
Does anyone think that big walking cold sore Stephen Bannon willfully let go of the most powerful position he will ever hold? On the departure of now-former White House chief strategist Bannon, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement: White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually…
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Ding-Dong, the Dick Is Dead!
Previously on the White House Apprentice, shit was going crazy and everyone was getting fired. The president kept putting his foot in his mouth and siding with racists, and now multiple sources are reporting that Donald Trump’s Head of Racism and Intolerancechief strategist Steve Bannon, who is often credited with salvaging Trump’s presidential campaign, has…
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Remember When the Worst Thing We Had to Worry About Was the President Getting a Blow Job?
In the last two weeks, Americans have gone from wondering whether we were all going to die in World War III against North Korea to wondering if we’re going to die at the hands of roving bands of white nationalist redshirts with Timothy McVeigh dreams and Breitbart logins. Just two days ago, with people still…