Donald Trump
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#POTUSRAP: White Twitter Dissing Jay-Z Might Just Be the Greatest Thing Wypipo Have Ever Done
Whenever I’m feeling down and out, I have discovered a cure for depression that doesn’t involve narcotics, thousands of dollars in therapist fees or finding a USB outlet to recharge my sex robot. (No, I don’t have a sex robot. I’m still waiting for Apple to come out with one because I might be desperate,…
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UN Ambassador and Trump’s Possible Side Chick Nikki Haley Was Big Mad During Grammys
Nimrata Randhawa, aka Nikki Haley, once had a promising career in politics. In 2010 she became the youngest governor in America at age 43, and she credited Hillary Clinton for her foray into politics. She was even critical of political albatross Donald Trump. But that feels like a lifetime ago. At some point, Haley’s moderate…
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Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe Steps Down Because Trump and the GOP Are Bullies: Report
FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, arguably one of President Donald Trump’s least favorite people in the agency, is stepping down just months before he was expected to retire. According to multiple reports, the career civil servant, who became deputy director in 2016 and was a frequent target of the president and Republicans, announced his departure,…
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Omarosa to Join Celebrity Big Brother Because What Else Was She Going to Do?
Omarosa Manigault Newman, the onetime reality star-turned-politico, is going back to her roots. The former Diet Coke getter for President Waco von Jonestown is the latest to join a cast of D-list actors and has-beens on Celebrity Big Brother. It’s been a wild ride for Omarosa, whom we first met in 2004 as the evil…
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Please Stop Inviting Joy Villa to Things
In the spirit of guarding your energy in 2018, may I offer one quick public service announcement: Stop inviting Joy Villa to things. Joy who-what-now? Girl, I don’t know. She “sings,” apparently. But what she’s really known for is burrowing up from the sunken place and trolling red carpets. What she do this time? On…
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Jay-Z Called Your President a ‘Superbug,’ and Trump Responded With Black Unemployment Figures
President Donald Trump didn’t have much to say to rapper Eminem, who has been excoriating him on wax (wait—do people even say “wax” anymore?) who has been ethering him in the cloud for a minute, but, again, Trump hasn’t responded. But perhaps because it is rumored that the current POTUS only watches television, he did…
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What You Need to Know About Trump’s Speech to the World’s Richest White Men
Donald Trump, a man who at various points in his presidency has resembled a toddler, a dotard and a weird combination of both, mostly colored within the lines today in Davos, Switzerland. Attending the Davos World Economic Forum, a meeting of the most illustrious and insanely rich white men in the world (the 0.05 percent,…
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An Unofficial Transcript of Donald Trump’s Attempt to Fire Robert Mueller
A new report has revealed that the president of wypipo tried to fire Robert Mueller only days after the veteran FBI official was hired as special counsel overseeing the splash back from the Russian pee tape. According to the New York Times, before we discovered that Donald Trump was reportedly sending money orders to porn…
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Did Trump Actually Apologize for Spreading Racist, Hateful Nonsense?
The short answer is nah, fam—regardless of what other headlines might tell you. While in Davos, Switzerland, on Friday for its annual global economic forum, President Donald Trump gave a sort-of apology for retweeting a far-right British group’s videos supposedly showing Islamist violence. In conversation with Piers Morgan (in what sounds like the pastiest, molted…