Donald Trump
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Donald Trump Has a White Man’s Lace Front and He Almost Watched It Blow Away
When you have a lot of money, you no longer have to buy your hair in bundles from an Instagram model who’s hawking two-for-one deals on Brazilian Wavy. I imagine that Beyoncé has a group of Peruvian schoolchildren whose sole purpose is to grow their hair to their ankles so that it can be lobbed…
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Donald Trump Jr: My Dad Isn’t Racist Because He Takes Photos With Rappers
For years, the race between Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. for the dumbest Trump offspring wasn’t a race. In fact, it could’ve. been argued that Eric Trump was about to lap the field when Trump Jr. yelled out, “Hold my coffee,” and ran to the press to exclaim that his dad isn’t racist because…
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Trump’s Lawyers Tell Him to Stand Down on Mueller All-Access Interview; Will He Listen?
When you have a client who is known for going off-script even when that script is written as simply as a Little Golden Book, it is in the best interests of both you and your client to caution him against doing an interview in which he could possibly perjure or incriminate himself because he is…
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Trump Wants a Military Parade Because Fascism Isn’t Coming to America Fast Enough
Your president is nothing if not a gigantic stunt queen who revels in the act of proving that his figurative penis is bigger than everyone else’s. I say “figurative” because we all know that if the real one were big, we wouldn’t have to constantly worry about getting nuked by North Korea because Donald Trump…
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Steve Bannon Dodges a House Intelligence Committee Interrogation Again
Former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon once again avoided testifying before the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday, forcing the panel to give him another week to comply with a subpoena to appear. A source told CNN Monday that Bannon knew prior to Tuesday’s deadline that he would not be showing up to give testimony…
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Trump Uses Death of NFL Player to Rant Against Immigrants, Ask for Border Wall
If we’re being honest, you have to admire the way the juicy-booty hate-monger throwing back Diet Cokes in the Oval Office like Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania 192 always finds a way to twist any tragedy into a reason to validate his racism. According to Donald Trump, the opioid crisis, most crimes and even…
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Sen. Tammy Duckworth Isn’t Here to Clap for ‘Cadet Bone Spurs’
What you’re not going to do is tell Iraq War vet and U.S. Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-Ill.) what is and isn’t treason. The Black Hawk-helicopter pilot who lost both legs during her service took exception to President Donald Trump’s comments Monday that Democrats who didn’t clap for him during his State of the Union address…
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Some Eagles Players Have Already Said They Will Pass on a White House Visit
It hasn’t even been a full day since the Philadelphia Eagles secured their title as Super Bowl champions, but several players are already announcing their plans to skip the traditional White House celebration that usually accompanies the victory. According to NJ.com, Eagles wide receiver Torrey Smith, defensive end Chris Long and safety Malcolm Jenkins are…