Donald Trump
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Melania Trump Doesn’t Care. Do U?
File this under “I’m not an immigrant but you are”: Deplorable First lady Melania Trump wore a cargo jacket that would better be described as “IDGAF” than “insensitive” during her “surprise” trip to Texas (doubtful, since there were painted signs welcoming her upon arrival) to visit immigrant children heartlessly separated from their parents. The back…
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Dear Melania Trump: Please Stop Trying to Be the Moral Compass for the White House—You’re Trash, Too
On Thursday, first lady Melania Trump made a surprise trip to see firsthand a border detention facility where children were being held after being separated from their parents. According to Reuters, Melania, aka Ofdonald, popped up in McAllen, Texas, so that she could see the devastation that her husband’s administration has caused. If Melania doesn’t…
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I Finally See It: Democrats Don’t Hate Trump As Much as They Love White Supremacy
I’ve never really trusted the Democratic Party. Why should I? In a political system that forces us into one of two often problematic choices, it never made sense for me as a black person to decide between Kang and Kodos; in the end, they’ll both try to enslave us. However, like most African Americans with…
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Here’s What Trump’s Executive Order to End Family Separation at the Border Really Means
On Wednesday, President Donald Trump finally decided that he’d done enough damage in embarrassing America on a global stage and signed an executive order to end the separation of migrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border. Didn’t matter that he could have done this weeks ago or that he never had to…
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Is Michael Cohen About to Flip on Trump?
With all the theatrics surrounding Donald Trump’s signing of an executive order to end family separations at the border, you may have missed out on a pretty big news nugget earlier Wednesday. Michael Cohen—Trump’s personal attorney and longtime confidant who has become one of the bigger fish caught in the Robert Mueller investigation web—submitted a…
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Your President Is a Stunt Queen Who Manufactures Drama
I hate this administration. I hate this Congress, including some of your faves that y’all lift up like they’re the way and the light, when really, they are part of the same evil machine that has put us in the position we are in right now. I hate that we continue to live by outdated…
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Trump Threw Starburst Candy Toward German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Told Her Not to Say He Never Gave Her Anything: Report
It’s widely known that President Donald Trump loves his Starburst. Sure, it’s been speculated (and by “speculated,” I mean that I believe) that Trump licks the orange Starbursts until they are soft and then rubs them on his skin to get the right complexion, which makes him look like the worn skin of a giraffe’s…
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Trump Administration Drafts Executive Order Ending Separation and Detainment of Migrant Children
The Associated Press is reporting that Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen has drafted an executive action that would end the Trump administration’s policy of separating immigrant families caught crossing the border. Nielsen was at the White House today, where Donald Trump also told reporters that he would be “signing something” on immigration soon, AP…
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I Will Always Be Here for People Cussing Out Donald Trump in Public Spaces
This is dedicated to my real ones. You know how there is that one person everyone in your hood hates, and so you all agree that when you see that person, it’s “on sight,” as we say? For the white people, “on sight” means that as soon as you see the person, it’s going down—whatever…
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An Exclusive Interview With the American Flag; You Know, the One the President Keeps Stroking
In what has arguably been one of Donald Trump’s weirdest (and whitest) moves, the president took the stage before the National Federation of Independent Business in Washington, D.C., made a speech, and once he was done bumping his gums, proceeded to hug the U.S. flag using the same hugging technique he reserves for his true…