Donald Trump
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The 10 Ashiest People In America, Ranked
Conservative politics and perpetually chapped lips are a clear sign of lotion avoidance. Also, I’m looking forward to the day when his brother in conservatism and chap, Paris Dennard, joins him on the list. His first hit single, “How To Rob,” was basically an ashy nigga’s Koran, and he’s been doubling down on ash ever…
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Who Invited Trump? President Shows Up and Takes the Stage at Ohio Rally Without an Invite, Governor Claims
President Trump is the kid that shows up to the frat party wearing a visor and golf shorts carrying a six pack of PBR trying to get the party started and no one knows him. He’s the white kid that will roll with a gang until they kill someone and then he becomes a white…
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Trump Supporter Calls C-Span, Threatens to Shoot Don Lemon
Proving Donald Trump’s constant criticism of the news media isn’t at all dangerous, a Trump supporter called a live national television show and threatened to make America great again with the attempted murder of two CNN journalists. During C-SPAN’s Washington Journal on Friday, a man who referred to himself as Don from State College, Penn.,…
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Just Remember That Your Punk-Ass President Would Never, Ever, Ever Call LeBron James Dumb to His Face
We have known, since we’ve known who Donald Trump is, that Donald Trump is a racist. Perhaps his name hasn’t always been associated with racism, but racism has always been attached to the Donald Trump package, like an IKEA refrigerator equipped with a complimentary ice maker. We know, for instance, that he was sued decades…
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Bitter Old Goat Trolls One of the GOATs, Successfully Plays Himself
It was a Friday night in Washington D.C., and what was the so-called leader of the free world doing? Staying up past his bedtime to catch up on his favorite hobby: racist hate-tweeting. Shortly before midnight, Donald Trump tweeted: “Lebron [sic] James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made…
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The 8 Kinds of Black Donald Trump Supporters
Black people love Donald Trump. In the 2016 election, Donald Trump earned more black votes (8 percent, according to the Roper Center) than Mitt Romney in 2012 (6 percent) or John McCain in 2008 (4 percent). While Barack Obama’s blackness or the Russians may have had something to do with that, in 2016, twice as…
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Trump Will Have to Speak With Special Counsel Mueller's Team In Person, Not Only Submit Written Answers
While special counsel Robert Mueller has no problem cutting the number of obstruction-related questions Donald Trump would be asked by his investigators, the president will still have to answer them in person and not simply in written form. CNN reports that Trump’s legal team has only agreed to submit written answers to Mueller and have…
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Jesus, Take the Wheel Because Your Shepherds Have Turned Into Sunken-Place Sheep
Black people meeting up with Donald Trump never ends well. So please tell me why these “urban” pastors of “inner-city” churches decided to sit down with The Orange One? Naturally, they started their Sunken Table Talk with a prayer. In a room full of pastors, there were so many to choose from, but ultimately OWN’s…
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Somehow, Donald Trump Keeps Finding Groups of Thirsty, Shameless and Silly Church Negroes to Meet With Him
If I am ever lucky enough to meet God, of the myriad questions I plan to ask Him (most, btw, involve lactose intolerance), one of the more pressing will be: Where exactly is the bottomless pit containing the endless cadre of thirsty, feckless, shameless, stupid and silly niggas willing to meet with Donald Trump located?…