Donald Trump
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Trump’s Impeachment Defense, Day 3: John Bolton’s Booketh Got Them Shooketh
Maybe former national security adviser John Bolton wasn’t just a publicity thot who took his five minutes of infamy to hawk a book. Maybe John Bolton had a secret plan. Who knows? Maybe he’s not Johnmorosa after all. Tuesday marks the third and final day of Trump’s defense team’s opening arguments in Trump’s impeachment in…
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Trump Is Looking to Make Housing Discrimination Easier and It’s Not Just Because He’s Racist
Continuing his legacy of desecrating the highest office in the land and undoing all of former President Obama’s good work, the Trump administration is looking to change rules enacted to fight housing discrimination. Which makes sense if you consider that, in 1973, Trump and his father were sued by the Department of Justice for violating…
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Trump’s Defense Lawyers Pick Up Where They Left Off, and By ‘Pick Up’ I Mean They Just Continue Lying
On Monday, President Trump’s loose group of arthritic knees and questionable morals banded together to expand on their brief opening statements from Saturday to make their case as to why the president of the United States isn’t the real Joanne the Scammer. A live look at President Trump promising that his team isn’t going to…
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Ex-National Security Adviser John Bolton Can’t Testify, But He Sure Knows How to Promote a Book
President Donald Trump began his Monday the way he always does: He ate the remains of a baby goat that was leftover from the weekend, slogged around the White House looking for his pig’s blood and cilantro smoothie and then locked himself in his private bathroom where he rage tweeted about ex-national security adviser John…
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Trump Now Says He's Open to Cut Entitlements
Another day, another installment in the ongoing saga that is “y’alls President is a lying ass liar.” Our subject for tonight’s episode is entitlements. CNN reports that when the currently impeached President was asked by CNBC in Davos whether entitlements would ever be something on his plate he responded with “At some point they will…
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Impeachment Trial, Day 3: How Do You Get Liars to Care About the Truth?
So I know you didn’t watch Day 3 of the Trump Impeachment trial so allow me to recap all the bits you missed. Democrats continued to make their case, which was totally riveting btw, and then Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) pulled a sword and began hacking away at the podium. Notorious R.E.P. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.)…
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Day 2: Impeachment Boogaloo
Have you ever been to a rave? I have and it’s exactly what you’d expect: loud music, lots of footwork, glow sticks and drugs. But what’s most impressive about a rave is how long they are and how sweaty everyone gets because the whole room gets hot because of all the non-stop dancing. The second…
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Fallout Continues in Puerto Rico After Warehouse Full of Unused Relief Supplies Is Discovered
A video showing a Puerto Rican warehouse full of unused supplies—allegedly given to aid survivors in the aftermath of Hurricane María—has set off a political firestorm on the island, currently reeling from a series of earthquakes. The footage, streamed on Saturday by Lorenzo Delgado Torres, instantly went viral, showing a warehouse in the southern coastal…
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Boy, That Joe Sure Knows How to Pander: Joe Biden Lumps Trump in With KKK in Speech at Black Church
Former Vice President and Democratic candidate Joe Biden paid a visit to Sunday services at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Columbia, S.C., to pander to black peo— I mean, to speak about his run for the presidency and to urge the largely black congregation to fight back against the environment of hatred and bigotry brought on…
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A Real Prize: On Her Birthday, Trump Administration Takes Aim at Michelle Obama’s School Nutrition Standards
Donald Trump is most likely the worst person to get a gift from; especially on your birthday. Ask Michelle Obama, who saw — like everyone else — The Trump Administration proposing loosening her signature school lunch standards yesterday. Trump’s Department of Agriculture’s proposed rule would give schools more latitude to decide how much fruit to…