Most of the United States set their clocks back an hour this past weekend to mark the end of Daylight Savings Time, an invention the white man (no, really, also the first sentence of that article is some pure bullshit) created to apparently save the daylight for the evenings, which to be clear, is nowhere near as…
Just when we thought the relationship between Serena Williams and beloved daughter Alexis Olympia couldn’t get any cuter, the Olympian introduced us to her “granddaughter,” Qai Qai,” (pronounced “Quay-Quay”) a bald, brown babydoll whose clothing budget is likely larger than ours (she even has a US Open-ready lavender…
I just got back from a family vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. I tried to do some work. It was a fool’s errand for many reasons. In fact, trying to find any time to get actual factual, back to life, word is bond work done was pointless. It was one of the more difficult things I’ve tried. I know you feel me; some of you…
For the Trump administration, the bottom appears to be nonexistent. On the same day that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen gave an abhorrently insensitive defense of the Trump administration’s insistence on separating immigrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border, U.S. Attorney…
President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before…
Melania Trump has a voice; she just chooses not to use it. In fact, when Ofdonald does speak, it’s usually to spout the lifted words from black America’s first-lady-until-further-notice, the great and incomparable Michelle Obama, or it’s to shout “Be best”—because that makes a lot of sense.
I don’t remember the first time I bumped the back of my daughter’s head on the top of the passenger-side rear door when attempting to put her in the car seat, but I remember the last time I did it—Saturday afternoon. We were on our way to Whole Foods (whose hot bar is a surprisingly good food option for dads with…
Parents, stop me if you’ve heard any of this before. Of my three children, my youngest, Rome, is by far the biggest spark plug. He’s a living, breathing 100 emoji. When he’s asleep, we take pains to make sure he sleeps as long as possible, shushing any and everybody in the vicinity making noise—not because we don’t…
Being a parent is awesome. It teaches you about yourself. For example, you get to learn your true “patience” threshold and if you need to work on it in order to make it through the next 18 years (short answer: Yes, you do). You get to go see blockbuster movies that some people without kids don’t even know exist (I…
With the number of lethal and nonlethal shootings, robberies and assaults on the rise in Baltimore, police and government officials are clamoring for ways to make sense of what is happening. But even with public finger-pointing and posturing, there still isn’t a consensus about who should be blamed for the current…
Children are tons of fun. Sure, they’re a lot of work, too, but you get used to that, and pretty soon the work is just part of life. On a daily basis you get to marvel and laugh at the new discoveries of infants and toddlers, the smarts and progress of your preteens, and, from what I hear, wonder just who in the hell…
This weekend, kids all across the country knocked on doors, begging for candy and threatening neighbors with “tricks” in the tradition of the annual Halloween bullying tactic in which children extort sweets from hardworking adults.
When I look in the mirror or at pictures of myself these days, the first thing that catches my eye is the patch of gray hair taking residence on my chin in my beard. The patch is like the White Walker army—slowly growing in follicle count until it surrounds the dark hairs in my beard—serving as an ominous portent of…
Sometimes it’s easy to forget it ever happened, to go about life and never have it surface in the forefront of my mind. Even when I am reminded by my naked reflection, the now barely-there line of a scar etched below my pelvis, a slight kiss from a scalpel in yesteryears past. The small Bs that were big Cs, before.
Unless you live under a social media rock, you are likely aware that it was reported very recently that (as Alex Hardy refers to her) Saint Janet Damita Jo Jackson and her husband, Wissam Al Mana, have split after 5.16666667 years of marriage. You also know that Janet Jackson is reportedly worth $175 million…
Editor’s note: This article contains a social media post that some may find offensive.
Crystal Kinchen, 23, was arrested and charged with second-degree cruelty to a juvenile after, police say, her 2-year-old son accidentally shot his 1-year-old sister in a car in Baton Rouge, La., CBS News reports. The incident happened when Kinchen and her children were in a parked car at a strip mall Tuesday night.…
Well, that didn't take long.
In 2014, Gilbert Arenas laughed at the notion that he should feel bad for cashing large NBA checks when he wasn't playing for a team. Fast-forward to 2016: The last check of Arenas' horrible $111 million contract with the Washington Wizards is set to be paid—on Oct. 31, to be exact—and Arenas is now claiming that he…
A Texas mother has been charged with capital murder after the bodies of her two children were found under her neighbor's house, KHOU reports.
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