children
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Amber Alert Issued for Five-Year-Old Maleah Davis, Last Seen in Houston
An Amber Alert has been issued for five-year-old Maleah Davis, last seen in the 16500 block of the Southwest Freeway in North Houston, Tex. on Saturday around 9 p.m. According to a local ABC affiliate, Maleah was wearing a pink bow in her hair with a light blue zip-up jacket, blue jeans and gray, white…
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A Photo of Beyoncé’s Kids Made It to Social Media and Somebody Getting Fired
On the 3rd day of the fourth month, in the Lord’s year of 2019, a photo of Beyoncé and her husband’s children was revealed on social media. Yes, it is true. Destiny’s Children have made their full social media debut and thus we are all made better because of it. As I looked at this…
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Connecticut School Employee Goes on Racist Rant in Supermarket, Loses Job, Earns Reprimand from Mayor
Corinne Terrone can be seen using the N-word while spitting at a black man and woman. Terrone, a public office worker in Hamden, Conn., resigned Friday after video of her racist language in a local supermarket last week. With more than 7,000 shares and 180,000 views, Terrone is also the subject of a report filed…
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Amber Alert Issued for 2-Year-Old Noelani Robinson After Mother Shot by Father
An Amber Alert has been issued for Noelani Robinson, a 2-year-old girl who was allegedly abducted by her father in Milwaukee. Police say her father, 34-year-old Dariaz Higgins, also shot and killed Robinson’s mother. Noelani was last seen on Monday, according to ABC News. She is believed to be with her father, who is considered…
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Dear Daylight Savings Time, You a Whole Asshole Until My Kids Are Older
Most of the United States set their clocks back an hour this past weekend to mark the end of Daylight Savings Time, an invention the white man (no, really, also the first sentence of that article is some pure bullshit) created to apparently save the daylight for the evenings, which to be clear, is nowhere…
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Living Doll: Serena Williams' 'Granddaughter' is Named Qai Qai—and She's Full of Teachable Moments
Just when we thought the relationship between Serena Williams and beloved daughter Alexis Olympia couldn’t get any cuter, the Olympian introduced us to her “granddaughter,” Qai Qai,” (pronounced “Quay-Quay”) a bald, brown babydoll whose clothing budget is likely larger than ours (she even has a US Open-ready lavender tutu). We have no idea how long…
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10 Things Easier to Do Than Work Remotely While on a Family Vacation
I just got back from a family vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. I tried to do some work. It was a fool’s errand for many reasons. In fact, trying to find any time to get actual factual, back to life, word is bond work done was pointless. It was one of the more difficult things I’ve…
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Jeff Sessions Explaining How the Trump Administration Is Not Like Nazi Germany Is Peak Dumpster Fire
For the Trump administration, the bottom appears to be nonexistent. On the same day that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen gave an abhorrently insensitive defense of the Trump administration’s insistence on separating immigrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border, U.S. Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler Klan” Sessions actually argued about…
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In 1 Press Conference, Kirstjen Nielsen Just Beat Out Sarah Sanders for Most Hated Person in Trump’s White House
President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before becoming makeshift youth prisons—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka…