ben carson
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A Conspiracy Theory as to Why HUD Wants to Raise Rent on Low-Income Housing
The more conspiracy sober-minded among us saw this coming a mile away—even if we had on Ben Carson’s thick glasses. This is only a theory, mind you, but let’s take a walk down the rabbit hole, shall we? Let’s suppose that when Carson, a black man who spent his career as a neurosurgeon, was named…
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Retaliation Firings, a Breakfront China Cabinet and a Bootleg Christian Charity: What’s Going On at Ben Carson’s Department of Housing and Urban Development?
First it was reported that Ben Carson, secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and his wife, Candy, were out here balling without a budget, buying some $31,000 of dining room furniture that included a breakfront china cabinet—because nothing says old bougie blackness like a breakfront china cabinet. Initially, Carson denied knowing about…
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Ben Carson Proves He’s Still Black: $31,000 Dining Room Set Included Breakfront China Cabinet
I would love to say that neurosurgeon-turned-head of the Department of Housing and Urban Development Ben “Mumbles” Carson is merely following in the lying tradition established by the Trump administration, but Mumbles was a liar long before joining the ranks of the White House elite. There was the time Mumbles claimed that he avoided being…
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Ben ‘Mumbles’ Carson Needs to Ask the Wizard of Oz for a Brain, and Then He Needs to Operate on It
Ben “Mumbles” Carson didn’t want to be secretary of housing and urban development, and when he was offered the job, he should have turned it down. Instead, the highly decorated neurosurgeon is operating in full public view, and he’s a damn mess. He’s worse than a mess; he’s a mess wrapped inside an atrocity that…
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Ben Carson Ain’t Slick. Don’t Let His Backpedaling Fool You
So remember how it came out that Ben Carson’s wife, Candy, had bullied staff at the Department of Housing and Urban Development into purchasing a $31,000 dining set? And remember how, when he was asked about it, Carson said he didn’t see the problem and he wasn’t going to return it? Well, it turns out…
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The Trump White House Is Love & Hip Hop for Terrible White People (and Ben Carson)
Remember way, way, way, way, way back when Love & Hip Hop: New York was centered on Peter Gunz and his revolving sister wives? And way, way, way, way, way back before then, when Erica Mena was still on the show and hurling wine flutes like ninja stars at Rich Dollaz’ neck? And way, way,…
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Ben Carson Wants to Cut HUD Funding, but Not His Office-Redecoration Budget
While Ben Carson was busy refusing to answer Texas Democratic Rep. Al Green’s question about proposed Department of Housing and Urban Development budget cuts, Carson’s office was being redecorated with a brand-new $31,000 dining room set. The New York Times reports that just one month after a whistleblower complained about Carson’s wife, Candy, insisting that…
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R. Kelly and the Black People on the Wakanda Travel-Ban List
During an emergency meeting at 7:27 p.m. Wednesday, the past, present and future residents of Wakanda went to the Black Twitter polls and voted to ban all attempts at entry by Grammy Award-winning singer and world-renowned urinator R. Kelly. It began when the crooner known for loving 11th-graders and singing the song “12 Play” posted…
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HUD Official Tries to Apologize for Calling April Ryan ‘Miss Piggy,’ Realizes Too Late that April Ryan Is Not the One
Well, Housing and Urban Development official Lynne Patton tried it with White House reporter April Ryan. And realized way too late that Ryan is really not the one. Normally, in the black community, I feel we have a good idea of people not to test. We don’t test our grandmothers, we usually don’t test that…
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Exclusive: God Responds to Ben Carson’s Weird Prayer Thanking the Lord for Trump and the Tax Bill
Before a Wednesday Cabinet meeting, the Grinch Who Stole the Middle Class’s Christmas informed the members of the press that they should stay for a few minutes to join Snow White Supremacist and the Seven Demons in prayer. Led by the successful surgeon, failed dick-stabber, and Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson, the…