MSNBC: Tips for Making College Affordable—Step One: Have Money
AJE: Deadly Attack on Iraq Funeral (Yeah, It's Reaaallly Time for Us to Go)
CNN: Tyra Gets Her Robin Givens On, Talks to Oprah of Abuse
IS: Indiana Near Top of Black Homicide Rate; Buzz Didn't Know Hoosiers Were That Gully
Newsday: Paterson Won't Stop MTA Fare Hike, Service Cuts; Wonders Why No One Likes Him
WSJ: Treasurer Tim-Tim's (tm) Op-Ed (We Know You're Psyched)
HuffPo: If We 'Kill the Rich', Don't We Kill the Dream? Ummm, Not According to Our Calculations…
CT: Drug Cartels Upping the Ante, Diversify Portfolio with People Smuggling
USAT: Obama Says Wall St. Was 'Out of Balance', Confirms There Is No Santa
Newsweek: White House To Release Bush-Era Torture Memos; Will Not Be More Popular Than 'Twilight' DVD
FOX: Ga. Lawmakers Fight Over Proposal Honoring Obama; Prez Shakes Head Over Groupie Love
AJE: US Defends 'Toxic' Asset Plan; Will, As Always, Be Looking Out for American People First
BBC: UN to Criticize Israel Over Gaza; Buzz Expects Serious Eyebrow Furrowing, Perhaps Some Stern Gestures
CNN: Wearing Necklace of Garlic, Obama Rebukes Cheney's '60 Minutes' Insight
WP: Geithner Asks Congress for More Power to Seize Firms, They Say "When Your Jacket Fits"
WSJ: Obama Dials Down Wall St. Criticism, Leaves It to the 'Internet Stans'
NYT: With No Foreign Aid Workers Left, Sudanese Take to Shooting Domestic Aid Workers
USNWR: Study IDs Variation in Black, White Genomes; Maybe Race Isn't a "Social Construction"
AP: Unemployment Hits Black, Latinos Harder; Good to See Not Everything Has Changed
AP: CT Lawmakers Consider Apologizing for Slavery and Giving…Well Just an Apology Mainly
J&J: Hey, Where's Our Bonus Check? Buzz Deems Piggybacking This Question Appropriate
APS: Conservatives Jump Shark on Obama, Iran; Not Nearly As Entertaining As When Fonzi Did It
SFC: Woman Snitched on Oakland Cop Killer; Cam'Ron Prepares Diss Track
USAT: Judge Lowers Age for Plan B Pill; Says, "If You Don't Still Blow Bubbles in Milk, You're Old Enough"
NYT: Have A Signature Cocktail? In this Economy, You Probably Should
AJE: Israel Accused of 'New Gaza Crime;' Figure Letting People Flee Defeats Purpose
CNN: Little-Known Company By Name of AIG to Return $50M in Obscure Exec Bonuses
BBC: Death Penalty 'Closer to Demise;' Texas Queries "According to Who?"
FOX: China Urges for New Global Currency, Says Making It Rain with Dollars Has Lost Appeal
ABC: Plan on Shopping a Bit? Try to Refrain from Being Black If Possible
Yahoo: Team Assessed Technical Foul for Uniform Violation, Loses Championship By Point
NYDN: MTA Raising Fare to $2.50; Thankfully, Cutting Service As Well
NYT: E.U. Prez Calls U.S. Stimulus the 'Way to Hell, Wonders Why Disneyworld Trip Has Hit Snag
NYT: UN Officials Call Darfur Aid 'Tenuous', Barack Obama Bi-Racial
JTA: Netanyahu Call His Gov't "Partner for Peace"; Palestine Says, "Oh Word?"
WP: House Dems Slash $100B from Obama's Budget (Somebody Just Got Blacklisted…)
CNN: Report Sees 'Sobering Statistics' on Racial Inequality; Buzz Thought Obama Extincted Racism. Darnit.
CNN: Jindal Defends Those Who Want Obama to Fail, Says Fail Club 'Could Use Another Colored Guy'
YT: It's A-Rod, Ms. Bonner. A-ROD.
NYT: Obama Tries to Rally Nation to Agenda; Considers 'Rally Monkey', Says "Oh, Wait…"*
WP: Obama Sees 'Signs of Progress' In Economy; Has Very, Very, Very Good Vision
LAT: Mexican Drug Lords Turn Sights to Peru; Wish to Flip Birds in Macchu Picchu
USAT: In a 9/11 Commission Remix, Condi Sides with Bush; Agrees with Silence
VOA: Bashir Continues His Tour, Says "Man, My Country's Dead Anyway"*
TH: Specter Will Vote Against Employee Free Choice Act; Hopes Roger Goodell, New England Patriots Notice
CNN: Paid Your Rent on Time? Doesn't Matter if Your Landlord Doesn't
AJE: Labor Party Joins Israeli Coalition; Netanyahu Asks Someone to Fetch His Shinebox
*The 'Rally Monkey' was big during the Angels' World Series run in 2002.
*The quote is a satirical reference to the movie Swingers.
IHT: France Urges N. Korea to Avoid Missile Test Because, You Know, Kim Jong Il Is a Lunatic
SJMN: Oakland Leaders Gather in Response to Violent Weekend; Buzz Makes No 'Snitch' Reference
WP: Hospitals Slow to Go to Electronic Records; More Concerned with Lifesaving, Not Getting Sued
CNN: Braille Silver Dollar Available; AIG Wishes It Had More Blind Execs
ESPN: Cop Delays NFL Player as His Relative Dies; Cop Gets F Minus for Life
THR: Isaiah Washington to Play Lou Rawls (Provided He Doesn't Say Something to Get Himself Fired)
SJMN: Land Conservation Bill Sent to Prez; Without Much on Plate, Says He'll Look Into It
NYT: Obamas Step in the Name of Love About DC; Allegations of Having Done 'Love Slide' Abound
Reuters: Taliban Gets Help from Pakistan; Obama Says 'Don't Make Me Wash My Hands'
USAT: Goodell: Vick Must Show 'Remorse' to Play Again; Apparently, Pentitentiary Insufficient
FOX: Obama Seeks to Expand Power Over Wall St.; Yeah, We're Still Talking About This
BET: Michael Says: If You Don't Want Blood on the Dancefloor, You'll Stop This Auction
Politico: Geithner 'Open' to China Proposal (As If He Was Gonna Be Something Else, Right?)
TS: Another Obama Nominee Withdraws; Prez Putting Job Listing on Craigslist
EW: Motown Night on 'Idol'; Smokey Looked Happy, Probably Wasn't
ESPN: Plaxico Burress' Lawyers Talks Plea with DA; Says "Isn't Shooting Yourself Bad Enough?"
AP: Serena Williams Voted POY; Some Argue Michelle Obama's Guns Still Superior
MTV: T.I. Gets Year and a Day; Says Year Easy, Day Hard
BJ: Fla. Unemployment Rate Tops Nation; RI, MI Cheer Then Frown
BET: GOP Wants to Keep Tabs on Mrs. Obama, Asks "You Mind Wearing This Head Scarf?"
NYT: Afghanistan the 'Winnable' War (But We Totally Appreciate the Effort in Iraq)
BB: Prez to Boost Forces in Afghanistan Because Two Wars Better Than One
Reuters: Mexico Wants More Us Funds for Drug Battle; US Totally Flush Enough to Handle That
NYT: Circumcisions Found To Curb Two STDs, Not Babies
USAT: Bishops to Boycott Michael Steele Speech; Steele Considers Doing Same
ABC: ND Levees Break in Flood Zone; Gov't Will Hopefully Not Abandon Citizens
AJE: Israel Military Goes Tuskegee on Own; Criticized for 'Unethical' Tests
BET: More Blacks Moving South; Feel Free to Riff on Ironies…Now
CNN: T.I. to Be Sentenced Today; Will Still Probably Get Out Before Shyne
ESPN: 'Nova Beats Duke; Obama to Coach K: 'Say Somethin''
AH: With Blacks No Longer Scary, Companies Market Demographic More Aggressively
NYT: Michael Steele Forgets Memo, Continues Speaking