I've been fighting with myself over addressing Jimi Izrael's post about women choosing gay men. First, I thought I'd leave a comment, but then I thought I should just leave it alone. I have nothing against Jimi or his perspective. In fact, I think he's a breath of realistic air. However, after reading several of the comments on his post that appear to be recycling the same "black man flawed, black woman victimized" crapola, well, I decided to say something … in a separate post. Look, the gay witch hunt among black folks must stop. This lame and lazy mantra about black men being "suspect" or whatever dismissive and divisive epithets one uses to playfully marginalize the gay community must stop.
Here's something radical: Maybe some of the women who choose "gay men" actually like those men. Not because they're girlish (because there are plenty of gay men who are masculine and plenty of "straight" men who are effeminate), but maybe they just like the package. And here's something more radical: Maybe some of these women are consciously or unconsciously bisexual, and they're drawn to men who balance out their own "suspect-ness." (By the way, there are straight women who are masculine.)
In other words, maybe some men and women come together because they want to be together. It does our community a disservice to talk about the gay and lesbian community in terms that dismiss and/or describe them as a sideshow or distraction in the so-called traditional world. Particularly, with such an impassioned effort within the community to gain the right to marry. Particularly, when this same community has suffered through discrimination and abuse at the hands of homophobes and other intolerants. In other words, let's graduate as a people and recognize that humanity is complicated. People are complicated.
Keith Josef Adkins is an award-winning playwright, screenwriter and social commentator.