Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but...
So Kanye West and Steve Harvey walk into a Chick-fil-A...
What? You heard this one? No, bruh, the punchline is not, “They joined the CEO in opposing gay-wedding-abortions to protect their religious freedoms”—dude, that’s dark.
Anyway, Yeezus and the Darkwing Duck cosplay champion apparently paid a recent visit to the fast-food chain that closes on Sunday because God don’t like really good lemonade, and Kanye posted a picture of Harvey under the caption, “Me and Steve Harvey was hungry.”
Who knows what the two talked about over lunch. Perhaps Ye is considering Harvey as a running mate in the upcoming presidential race. (They have opposing views when it comes to proper attire because while Harvey has an affinity for bright, vibrant colors, Kanye’s entire clothing line looks like Jesus-pajamas—but they still connect on enough issues to make that ticket work.)
Maybe they were discussing gifts for their mutual friend President Donald Trump. (Harvey wanted to get Trump a cage for his toupee to sleep in at night, but that got shut down when Kanye cited it as proof that slavery is a choice.)
Perhaps they were planning a support group where they can talk about how sleep deprivation disproportionately affects the affluent. Kanye wanted to have the discussion in private first because, in public, Harvey always starts off loud and wrong, like...
What they discussed doesn’t matter. There’s really only one important question here: WTF is that in Steve Harvey’s pocket?
If you look closely toward the bottom of the photo Kanye posted, you can see what appears to be the corner of a ziplock bag hanging out of Coach Hightower’s pants pocket.
Now, to be fair, that bag could contain anything. Maybe it’s some kind of miracle ointment designed to bring back Harvey’s ’90s hairline. Maybe he’s just holding onto Kanye’s medication because that’s what a good friend and non-enabler does.
Or maybe the baggie in Broderick’s pocket (Did y’all know his full name is Broderick Stephen Harvey? I had no idea.) explains why the two were so hungry in the first place.
I’m not saying that what Harvey has in his pocket is clearly a 14-gram bag of OG Bubba Kush (not that I would know about such things), I’m just asking questions here.
I’m just saying, maybe the King of Comedy isn’t taking the advice of a certain sports journalist and TV personality that I imagine has to be a close friend of his:
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