‘Soho Karen’ Attorney Says Incident Was Not ‘A Race-Related Issue’ and Other Standard Lawyer Things

Illustration for article titled ‘Soho Karen’ Attorney Says Incident Was Not ‘A Race-Related Issue’ and Other Standard Lawyer Things
Screenshot: @keyonharrold/ Instagram

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I could never be a lawyer.

I don’t even think that all lawyers are the morally corrupt people they’re often portrayed as being; I just know I couldn’t be the dude that twists himself into knots of obvious nonsense trying to present my client in a way that makes them look like the half-decent human beings that some are definitely not.

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By now you’re all familiar with the viral video that shows Miya Ponsetto, aka Soho Karen, acting a damn fool at the Arlo Hotel in New York City over a cell phone she left in an Uber, but swore up and down was stolen by the 14-year-old Black teen son of Jazz musician Keyon Harrold.

Since the video of the altercation spread across social media last month, the NYPD—which released surveillance footage that shows Ponsetto tackling the teen—has been trying to locate her and she’s been remarkably elusive despite the fact that media outlets don’t seem to have a problem finding her. (Seriously, if I were law enforcement I’d be pissed at getting shown up like that. I’d be walking around with a picket sign that says, “defund the media.”)

Well, it looks like NYPD officials have finally caught up with Ponsetto and are heading to Los Angeles to interview the 22-year-old about the incident, and the rest of us will just have to hold our breath waiting to see if any semblance of accountability follows.

From NBC New York:

An attorney for the woman who was seen falsely accusing acclaimed jazz musician Keyon Herrold’s son of stealing her phone in a New York City hotel has identified her client and police are on their way to interview the woman in Los Angeles.

LA-based attorney Sharen Ghatan on Tuesday confirmed to NBC News that 22-year-old Miya Ponsetto was in NYC to visit her father when she lost her phone in an Uber. Ghatan blamed the rideshare and said that if the phone had been returned 15 minutes earlier, the incident, which Mayor Bill de Blasio described the case as a clear example of racism, wouldn’t have occurred.

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Riiiiiight, it’s the Uber driver’s fault that Lady Mac-theft lost her phone and her first thought was to go ballistic and start blaming Black people at random for stealing her shit. This is what I’m talking about; folks actually do this shit for a living.

Of course, Ghatan also insists that this was not “a race-related issue,” because…*yawn*

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“Miya is young, She let her emotions get the best of her,” Ghatan told NBC. “That phone could have been in the hand of a 90-year-old grandma, an Asian person...someone Black or blue. It wasn’t a race-related issue. Things took a life of their own.”

Where to begin?

First of all: Yeah, I’m sure Ponsetto would have accused a random 90-year-old woman of swiping her iPhone. And if granny refused to show her proof that she didn’t steal her raggedy-ass shit, Ponsetto would have gone ahead and broken a senior citizen’s hip trying to sack her before she reached the hotel exit. Secondly: Why are Asians and Smurfs or whatever always the go-to for people trying to explain why racism had nothing to do with anything? (Sometimes there’s a green or purple person too, but I guess they were busy with the Mexican and the rabbi at the bar.)

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Ghatan also noted that Ponsetto is of “Puerto Rican descent.” That doesn’t really matter because it’s a nationality that “does not preclude one from being white,” as The Root’s Ishena Robinson pointed out. Besides, even if she isn’t white, she is damn sure getting a standard white woman’s defense.

“She was a scared girl alone in a city she doesn’t know and lost her one point of contact for her numbers,” Ghatan told NBC. “She lost her mind for a hot minute. She is sorry.”

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She was “scared?”

BRHUH, SHE RAN DOWN AND TACKLED A BLACK CHILD!!

*sigh*

Like I said, couldn’t be my job.

Zack Linly is a poet, performer, freelance writer, blogger and grown man lover of cartoons

DISCUSSION

thedamesgotmoxie
LaRockyMay!

“She was a scared girl alone in a city she doesn’t know....”

She is a grown-ass woman...nice try tho...