Social Studies: May 13, 2020

Illustration for article titled Social Studies: May 13, 2020
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One day in the future, just before we head out into the post-apocalyptic dystopian landscape to forage for food, we’re probably going to look back at this administration and wonder what the hell was wrong with us. We’ve just gotten used to his antics.


I know, I know—there’s just too much Trump malfeasance to get upset about it all, especially when you also have to worry about being lynched while jogging, catching the ’Rona, Republicans stealing your vote, global warming and Face ID not working with your mask on.

Does anyone remember my passcode? I know it had an 8 in the middle.

Oh, wait... We were talking about Donald Trump.

Anyway, Russia’s at it again:

The Trump administration also forced Mississippi to count CARES Acts payments as unearned income, which means that many people won’t be eligible for food stamps.

That’s right, $600 per week means you’re too rich for government assistance. Of course, you have to find a way to stop people from abusing the system. No one wants welfare queens living off their dime. I get tired of these...

Oh, wait:


Someone at The Guardian wrote a whole article about being named Karen. I bet the writer told them she was “the manager.”


Angry Karens are my favorite Karens and here is the realest Karen you ever saw. She’s the Tupac of Karens.


First of all, I’m lactose intolerant so I wouldn’t know, but are cheddar bay biscuits really that good? As a proud South Carolinian, we hold Red Lobster in the same esteem that Italians regard Olive Garden.


The only red lobster we acknowledge is Sebastian.

Meanwhile, as COVID-19 continues to disproportionately affect black and brown communities, people are searching for solutions by any means necessary, including Facebook:

Illustration for article titled Social Studies: May 13, 2020

Well, actually...the black nurses who are risking their lives on the front lines are both.


By the way, has anyone recognized this strange phenomenon?


I love the elders, lawd knows I do. But is Stef Curry fine?


This is both disturbing and accurate. I love these deep fakes.

I bet the baby reads at a higher level than Donald, though.


Does anyone remember that we have an election coming up?

And where is Joe Biden? If Joe really wants to be president, he’s probably gonna have to risk it all and get out and start campaigning. This ad is pretty good, but they ain’t showing this long shit on Fox News.


What I’m trying to say is that we’re doomed. If the ‘Rona doesn’t kill us, Trump will.


And even if he doesn’t Karens are going to make you wish you were dead.

Maybe this will make you happy:

Happy Birthday, Stevie Wonder!

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.


Foxstar loves Bashcraft

They are...alright, provided you can get them fresh from the oven. The mix is alright, but they lack something and i’ve never been able to fully figure out what. Compared to your black great grandma’s, grandma’s, aunt’s or even mothers, they are always going to be weaksauce, even more if you come from the south.

As for the lactose inolerance, I feel you. As a teenager, I learned just how high the rate of that shit is among black people and having to realize that I was at real risk of losing access to my dairy and products made with dairy when I would eat something with dairy and have gas that would make my grandma scream at me to light a candle, I was not going to sit back.

I doubled, tripled, quaded down on the dairy for a few months. Yes, I had gas and also had the type of belly gurgles that said “Shit just got real.” regularly and had to buy a bidet and my own TP stash. It was not fun, but I kept at it and somehow, I came though. I rarely get minor gas now if I really overdo it on the dairy, but for the most part, I can continue to sate my deep love of dairy without my belly saying “You dun fucked up now, boy!” I will forever be thankful to my mom’s and grandma and sister for putting up with me during those trying months. It was so worth it.