The complicated nature of relationships was front and center during Thursday night’s episode of Scandal. Fathers, mothers and daughters. Husbands, wives and lovers. Old Command, New Command and Tom. Here is everything you need to know about episode 4.
Karen Grant went to Paris. Remember that time Vanessa Huxtable and her friends sneaked all the way to Baltimore to have “big fun” with a band called the Wretched, but their car was stolen, they were conned out of their concert tickets and a pickpocket took all their money? Well, Vanessa Huxtable had nothing on first daughter Karen Grant, who shook her Secret Service detail, hopped a classmate's dad's jet to go to a party 500 miles away, got drunk and high, and engaged in an unprotected sexual act, which I had to look up on Urban Dictionary, called the Eiffel Tower with two boys whose names she didn’t know … (catching my breath) … on tape. Where is my inhaler?
Olivia fixed it. Karen called Olivia, a self-proclaimed former “angry, teenage, grieving girl with daddy issues,” who could identify with Karen. Olivia and Quinn sneaked Karen out of the party and took her to the White House. Huck and Quinn hunted down one of the boys’ parents, who demanded $2.5 million in exchange for promising not to let the world find out that the president’s daughter is a “dirty little slut.” Fitz agreed to pay the $2.5 million, but when the parents got greedy and requested an additional $500,000, Olivia delivered one of the most epic reads in all of Scandal. After she called them child pornographers and everything other than “sir” and “ma’am,” she made them sign nondisparagement agreements and sent them home empty-handed. Welp.
Fitz and Liv did that thing they do. Left alone together in the Oval Office, Fitz told Liv that when she ran away for two months, he almost died without her. Then we got one of those season 2 throwback moments where Fitz physically imposes himself on Liv, who resists … until she doesn’t. Then they eat each other’s faces … until Liv says she can’t. … Wake me up when it’s over, OK?
Jake got blamed for Little Jerry’s murder. While reviewing records to figure out how Karen was able to sneak past Secret Service, it was noticed that two days before Little Jerry’s death, Secret Service/B-613 agent Tom was at Fort Detrick, where the classified meningitis strain that killed Jerry was being stored. Fitz wanted to know who ordered Tom to kill Jerry, and Tom dearly wanted to tell him, but Fitz (like a dummy) asked Papa Pope to handle the interrogation. After Papa Pope said a bunch of words that meant, “I dare you to say my name,” Tom pinned the murder on Jake. Noooo!!! In the end, Jake was surrounded by a team of scary Secret Service types and escorted away.
Given that Papa Pope wants Jake dead after Jake told him to shut his stubborn-old-man mouth in his own house, Fitz is angry after finding out that Jake was with Liv while she was gone for those two months, and Jake choked out David Rosen (one of his only allies) when David said he had no intentions of ever releasing the B-613 files, Jake “might don’t make it” to season 5. In the immortal words of Papa Pope, “Start grieving now.”
Mellie mothered. During this episode, Mellie, still wearing Uggs and a dirty bathrobe, is eating cereal out of a box, which lets us know that her emotional state is somewhere between fried chicken and apples, but when she sees Olivia in the White House, she flies into a rage, stomps into the Oval Office and goes off à la “What is she doing here?! This is my house! My child! And my family!” Fitz cut her short like, “Look here, Drunk-Smelly-Eat Everything-Cry-All-The-Damn-Time-History-Rewriting Mellie, you haven’t been a mother since Little Jerry died.” Yikes! Normally Mellie does the schooling and scolding, but Fitz was like “not me” and “not today.”
Later, Mellie had a heart-to-heart with Karen where she sympathized with her grief, mentored her about sexual empowerment, and explained that no matter how unfair and sexist it is, the first daughter cannot “Eiffel Tower” on tape. (Shoulder shrug.) It was touching, though. “Mommy Mellie” looks good on her.
Abby felt small. Cyrus made her feel smaller. Abby told Cyrus that being undermined every time Olivia is around makes her feel small. Cyrus took a brief hiatus from daydreaming about his sexcapades with the sex worker to explain to Abby that the sky is blue and 1+1=2. “You are not Olivia. You will never be Olivia. And hating Olivia for your own shortcomings will not change that fact.” Well, gotdern. Do FitzCare health benefits include therapy?
Akilah Green is a recovering Washington, D.C., lawyer-lobbyist-politico turned TV and film writer and producer living in Los Angeles. She currently works for Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show, Chelsea. She has also worked as a staff writer for Kevin Hart’s production company, HartBeat Productions, and as a consultant for Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO. In addition, she co-wrote and is producing Scratch, an indie horror-comedy feature film, and is a regular contributor to The Root. Follow Green’s adventures in La La Land on her blog, Twitter and Facebook.