Scandal Recap: Better Save Yourself

Joe Morton as Eli Pope and Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope in Scandal

There really is no rest for the weary. The crazy train just kept moving right along in Thursday night’s “The Fluffer.” As a matter of fact, this train stops every five blocks, and you probably should’ve taken a cab like you wanted to from the start. But it seems like no one at OPA or the White House crew is willing to stop the madness (even if it means they are ruined or killed in the process).

Here’s a quick review: Olivia sends Abby as her proxy in an attempt to distance herself from the White House, but it lasts like only 10 minutes; Mellie slaps Fitz for taking Andrew away from her; Mama Pope joins her family for dinner and knives are literally drawn; Leo and Abby flirt in a prison, of all places; Cyrus tells Fitz they have to win or everything (James’ death) was in vain; Janine Locke releases a tell-all book about her made-up affair with the president; Quinn is tasked with killing Mama Pope; and OPA shuts down B613 right as Mama Pope is about to blow up a place. In other words, everything is totally crazy, as usual.


I’ve said before that everybody on this show needs Iyanla or Jesus, but it’s clear that what everybody really needs is intensive, long-term psychotherapy.

Now, I’m not a therapist, but I am a Pope head/gladiator, and I’m also really good at giving my friends life advice (Follow your heart girl!/You’re too good for him!/Yo, your boss is trippin’!), so I thought I’d go ahead and make a list of what each person on the show needs to work on:

Jake needs to realize that he’s the only person who can save him. Jake stood outside Olivia’s door and whispered, “I asked you to save me, and you said no.” Aside from how painfully hot it is to have tall sexy command at your door in the middle of the night, begging you to save him, Jake needs to realize that all Olivia can do is distract him momentarily from his job as a secret murder cop. No one can save him but himself.

Mellie needs to tell Fitz what happened to her. Like ASAP. And not just Fitz, but everybody. It’s literally killing her and their marriage and destroying everything around them. Secrets destroy from the inside out. Instead of carrying it around, making “sacrifices” and valuing power above herself, she needs to tell her secret. She needs to love herself enough to set herself free. 

Fitz needs to stay away from Olivia. He clearly still loves Mellie and has never reconciled himself to the fact that she stopped wanting him. He’s using Olivia to mask the pain of rejection from his wife, and it’s not fair to anyone. He also has issues with his father and has temper tantrums like a toddler whenever he doesn’t get his way, but let’s just work on one thing at a time.


Olivia needs to get on a plane and never come back. Let’s just say Olivia’s picture is in the dictionary next to “dysfunction.” Her dad is treating her like a mark (according to Huck), her mom is a stone-cold terrorist with a bomb in a flower box, the love of her life is a temper tantrum-prone married leader of the free world, her side boo is a tall, sexy, tormented secret murder cop, and no one on her staff can go to the bathroom without her approval. And let's not forget that she handles all of this without ever spilling so much as a drop of red wine on her perpetually white coat. Olivia has never had a chance to breathe. She doesn’t have a single healthy relationship. She’s gotten so used to the madness that when her dad offered her a flight away from it all, she said no. She needs a permanent vacation to learn to function without the drama.

Cyrus needs to do breathing exercises. Remember when Cyrus had a heart attack? That’s because he’s the most intense person on this side of the equator. He needs to chill and take the time to process James’ death. Instead, he’s using his job to fill a void, which seems to be what he’s always done. Life is too short and Ella is too cute for him to be so work obsessed.


Although my advice is sound, I recommend that Mellie, Cyrus, Jake, Fitz and Olivia all contact their health care providers and make appointments for evaluation with qualified local therapists.

Charla Lauriston is a standup comedian and the creator of Clench & Release, a Web series about the frustrations of everyday life in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.

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