Rep. Al Green (D-Texas) is arrested by U.S. Capitol Police after blocking First Street Northwest in front of the U.S. Capitol with fellow supporters of immigration reform on Oct. 8, 2013, in Washington, D.C. ( Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Rep. Al Green (no, not the grits-faced, “Love and Happiness” Al Green—the congressman from Texas with the receding perm line in the front and Shirley Temple curls in the back Al Green) released a joint statement Monday with a former staffer that basically said, “We cool.”

Unprompted by any allegation or event, the Texas Democrat issued the statement with former staffer Lucinda Daniels, who had accused Green of assaulting her in 2007. In 2008, Green filed a lawsuit against Daniels but dropped the lawsuit after she signed a statement indicating that Green never assaulted her, according to Politico.


But on Monday, the two came out of nowhere to confirm that everything was fine and that there was nothing to see here. They said they knew you guys had been wondering what was up with them in that messy situation from 10 years ago that played out like a Real Housewives reunion, even though no one was even thinking about what was going on with the real-life Cro-Magnon man and Lucinda.

Trust me—if you probed every brain in America right now, not one of them is thinking about anyone named Lucinda.

The statement indicated that they wished to “jointly quiet any curious minds about our former and present relationship with one another.”


“This matter has been resolved without payment of any money or transfer of any consideration of any kind by either of us to the other,” the pair added. “As friends, we have both agreed that we see no need to make further statements regarding this absolutely resolved matter.”

Well, that was awkward and totally unnecessary.

Like his conk-mullet.

Read more at Politico.

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.

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