Re-Up Gang: Cam Newton Returns to the Evil Empire With Incentive-Laden One-Year Deal

Cam Newton #1 of the New England Patriots talks with head coach Bill Belichick before the game against the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on September 13, 2020 in Foxborough, Massachusetts.
Cam Newton #1 of the New England Patriots talks with head coach Bill Belichick before the game against the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on September 13, 2020 in Foxborough, Massachusetts.
Photo: Maddie Meyer (Getty Images)

I think it’s safe to say that Cameron Jerrell Newton didn’t have a particularly great 2020.

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He got cut by the Panthers, was forced to sign for pennies on the dollar with the Patriots, there was a whole-ass global pandemic, Neiman Marcus filed for bankruptcy, and he played like absolute dog shit all season. Sure, he was a beast in short-yardage situations, but his accuracy was so poor that he couldn’t shoot up a club with a rocket launcher.

And please don’t get me started on his decision-making. Please.

Yet despite his struggles, and the Patriots’ failure to make the playoffs for the first time since Video Soul got canceled—I hear that old-ass Brady guy was magnificent though—it appears that the Bill Belicheats and their bootleg Superman will be running it back for the 2021 season.

Per ESPN reporters Adam Schefter and Mike Reiss, it’s a one-year deal that’s thin on guaranteed money and heavy on incentives—which means Cam is basically the side chick who has to pretend like the Pats aren’t trying to wife somebody else up.

In Cam’s defense, he didn’t exactly have much to work with last season. Julian Edelman is staring retirement in the face, N’Keal Harry might be the biggest bust since Ryan Leaf, and while Jakobi Meyers was a welcome surprise, let’s not sit and act like dude is a world-beater. Yet despite this motley crew of dilapidated parts, Billicheat still somehow managed to cheat his way to collect 7 wins. So armed with a healthy amount of draft picks and $68.5 million in cap space, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he’s able to resurrect this franchise from the dead.

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He just needs Cam’s arm to cooperate—which might be a tall order.

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Get your money, Black man. But it’s time to prove you can still play at a high level on the field.

DISCUSSION

By
Dr Emilio Lizardo

Big mistake. Cam was great in his time, but age and all the concussions have caught up with him. Pats below .500 this year.