Brandon Hayley, Lucian “Luke” Evans and Mary Elizabeth Durham
Image: Marion County Sheriff’s Office

Usually racist ass racists like Donald Trump or professional hate-monger Milo Yiannopoulos love to tout their imaginary black friends or actual black husbands as irrefutable proof they can’t be racist.

“I like black guys for my love life, straight white males as employees, and girls as drinking buddies,” Milo once told Bloomberg, presumably right after burning a cross in his then fiancé’s front yard.

But according to the Miami Herald, a merry band of racist ass racists took their not-racism to another level when they failed to heed AutoCorrect’s warnings and instead tattooed “Fuck you, niger” on their token black friend’s neck as a punishment for defying gang rules—which, looking at them, likely had something to do with brushing his teeth or using soap.

Here’s how it went down:

Hart told police the charged trio and Singleton showed up at his home that night, shut the door and demanded he go with them to cover his gang tattoo or patch, “CWB.” He recalled Evans putting his hand on a sheathed, fixed blade knife. Evans later told police that Singleton had the knife.

“Why can’t you cover my patch right where I’m sitting?” Hart said he asked.

He said Hayley and Evans held him down while Singleton began covering the tattoo. But Hart still struggled and fought so, he said, Hayley knocked him out with a foreign object.

Hart recalls fading back in briefly to Durham doing the tatting and saying, “I’ve never done this before” and someone replying, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

Advertisement

For those dying for a plot twist, “CWB” stands for “Crazy White Boys.” So if you’re wondering what type of gang this was, do with that what you will.

Hart told police that when he regained consciousness, his phone was gone and he made a startling discovery.

Advertisement

“...when he woke up, his pants were twisted and his ‘butt’ hurt,” the arrest report said. “[Hart] stated he was wearing blue jeans and felt something wet in his pants. [Hart] stated when he looked at his pants, he saw what he believed to be blood. Michael stated he felt like he’d been sodomized, but could not provide any more details.”

Mary Elizabeth Durham, 35, was arrested for armed robbery and aggravated battery, her eighth arrest since 2009; 28-year-old Brandon Hayley was charged with two counts of aggravated battery and armed robbery. It’s his seventh arrest since 2010. And Lucian Evans. 40, was charged with aggravated battery, armed robbery, two counts of second-degree larceny, possession of a weapon by a convicted felon, and fraud with a false receipt.

Advertisement

Brett Singleton, 45, was also involved in the January 28 incident, but has yet to be charged.

This whole fiasco gives new meaning to the term “grammar nazis,” and thankfully all involved are behind bars.