Politics
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It's Official: The President Is an Idiot and This Tweet Is The 'Smocking' Gun
President Donald J. Trump is a signed, card-carrying rage tweeter. Normally, when he’s rage tweeting about the Russia investigation, it’s easy to look past his grammar because it’s amusing to see him folding under the pressure of the investigation in real time. But early Monday morning, before the president donned his kaftan made from the hides…
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Donald Trump’s List of Failed Nominees Looks Like a CVS Receipt and Don Lemon Ran Out of Time Trying to Read It
By now I’m sure you’ve heard that yet another one of our Commander-in-Tweet’s nominees—former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson—has joined the likes of former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, former campaign chairman Paul Manafort and lawyer Michael Cohen at the unemployment office. And with soon-to-be former Chief of Staff John Kelly likely to soon join…
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Contrary to What Donald Trump Says, He Has Not Been Cleared. He’s Been Implicated in a Federal Case
“Totally clears the President. Thank you!” Donald Trump tweeted Friday, shortly after news broke that federal prosecutors had made filings in the cases against his former attorney and fixer, Michael Cohen. For whatever reason, the “President” seems to think the filings exonerate him of any wrongdoing, but he is absolutely incorrect. The filing in Cohen’s…
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Rex Tillerson Calls the President a Dumbass. Trump Calls Tillerson a Lazy Bitch
The first-world fuss fight between President Bull Shannon and his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson continues as Tillerson noted that President Kelly Bundy is, in fact, an idiot. What was actually missed from Tillerson’s rare public appearance during a fundraiser for the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center on Thursday, was that he believes that Russia…
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Donald Trump Jr. Attacks Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez With Ignorant Dog-Eating Meme
Donald Trump Jr. continues his quest for relevancy and his pointless push to outshine his father’s favorite offspring by posting highly offensive content to his Instagram account and then running to show his father how funny he can be. For some reason, Trump Jr. (aka Not-Ivanka) thought it’d be funny to post a meme to…
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Fox News' Tucker Carlson Turns On Trump: He's ‘Not Capable’ And Hasn’t Kept His Promises
President Trump must really be messing up when the frat-faced fuck boy Tucker Carlson, an employee of the president’s personal YouTube channel, Fox News, turns on him and actually begins sounding like he has an informed and unbiased opinion. Carlson told an editor at some German-language magazine“Die Weltwoche” he didn’t believe President Trump had kept…
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White House Chief of Staff John Kelly Will Reportedly Resign, Signaling the Series Finale of America
Raise your hand if you didn’t see this one coming. An actual real-life and respected Marine Corp general lasted longer than many expected in one of the most dysfunctional White House administrations since President Francis Underwood. According to CNN, the relationship between White House chief of staff John Kelly and the president has grown so…
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Trump National Golf Club Maid Comes Out As Undocumented, Surprisingly Hasn’t Killed Anyone
President Clark Griswald would have white midwesterners believe that he’s the tough-on-borders president, minus, of course, his genius immigrant wife and her parents. He would have southern whites believing that he’s the build-a-wall president that’s going to keep migrants from coming into the country and stealing all the good jobs. He would like to have…
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Emails Show Trump Diversity Official Instructed to Not Be So Hard on White Supremacists: Report
The chief diversity officer at the Department of Veterans Affairs was reportedly warned by a top Trump appointee not to condemn white supremacists violence during the “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Va. According to new emails obtained by The Washington Post on Wednesday, Georgia Coffey, a VA senior executive, urged the agency to issue…
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Tweet-Shames Congress Members for Not Paying Interns a Living Wage
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the newly elected House representative, is continuing her crusade to not only change the way business is done in Congress but to pull back the curtain on the fugaziness that takes place on Capitol Hill. On Tuesday, Cortez took to Twitter to bash both sides of the aisle for underpaying their overworked staff…