Politics
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Harris Was Good in Theory, Buttigieg Makes Us Weary and Biden Sees Things Clearly: 2020 Presidential Black Power Rankings, Week 19
“Kamala Harris is dropping out but Pete Buttigieg is still in?” I got about a million incredulous texts just like this from black folks I know when Senator Kamala Harris dropped out of the 2020 campaign earlier this week. I got so many texts from black people about Harris I thought Tom Steyer was going…
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Smokin’ Joe Biden Challenged a Man to a Pushup Contest Because He’s Strong AF!
I don’t know what is wrong with former Vice President Joe Biden, but I swear he’s becoming the living, breathing version of those Obama BFF memes. Remember those memes, in which a Crazy Joe spouts out silly shit and Obama has to tell him to calm his old ass down? Anyway, on Thursday, during a…
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5 Reasons the Impeachment Hearings Were Must-See TV
I will admit that my job requires me to watch all of the congressional hearings and all of the pundits rattling off reasons why the world and the economy aren’t going to collapse. I’m literally paid to watch members of Congress fumble over themselves to support one of the most corrupt presidencies America has ever…
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Worst Father Ever Allegedly Abandons Son on the Side of the Highway Over Concerns About His Sexual Orientation
During a week in which future NBA Hall of Famer Dwyane Wade made headlines for demonstrating his love and support for his child Zion, on the other end of the spectrum we have Evenaud Julmeus of Haines City, Fla., who did the unthinkable when he allegedly abandoned a boy on the side of a highway…
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Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Trump ‘Leaves Us No Choice But to Act’ on Impeachment
And so it begins. On Thursday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she’s asked that articles of impeachment be drafted against President I Did That Shit. Sure impeachment without removal from office is about as damaging as a public indecency charge from 1994; it’s not going to really do anything but it’s embarrassing if it…
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Presidential Hopefuls Julián Castro and Cory Booker Express Anger, Concern Over Kamala Harris’ Ending Her Campaign
Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro didn’t mince words when asked about his feelings on the abrupt ending of California Sen. Kamala Harris’ bid for president. “To me, they held her to a different standard, a double standard, to other campaigns. And I don’t know if it impacted her decision to withdraw from…
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Kamala Harris Shuts Door on Presidency and Dunks on the President on Her Way Out
On Tuesday, Sen. Kamala Harris announced that she was ending her presidential campaign, but because Trump knows nothing about an AKA’s ability to clap back—or how to do anything with grace—he sarcastically tweeted, “Too bad. We will miss you Kamala!” Apparently, no one told the president that Kamala had already obtained three clapback infinity stones…
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World Leaders Caught on Hot Mic Clowning Trump, and Princess Anne Is a Real One
World leaders and a fussy baby who keeps telling everyone he won the popular vote are in London for the NATO summit. Unfortunately for America, our representative is a failed businessman-turned-reality TV host who can’t stop whining. Basically, he’s a national embarrassment on a global stage, like a kid that keeps yelling “pee-pee” and “boo-boo”…
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House Democrats’ Impeachment Report Confirms Trump Is a Finesser Who Cares More About KFC Than America
In news that should be shocking to no one with opposable thumbs, a report by House Intelligence Committee Democrats confirms that President Trump was more concerned about his own personal gain than the well-being of the country when he tried to finesse a quid pro quo arrangement with the Ukrainian president. According to several sources,…