Politics
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New Senate Bill Doesn't Want Federal Employees Doing the #FlipTheSwitch Challenge, Would Ban TikTok on Work Phones
Two Republican senators sure know how to kill a good time. On Thursday, Sens. Josh Hawley of Missouri and Rick Scott of Florida introduced the No TikTok on Government Devices Act, which would basically prevent federal government employees from doing the #FlipTheSwitch challenge on their work phones. Yes, the bill has everything to do with…
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Trump’s Bizarre Coronavirus Speech Included a Hot Mic F-bomb and a Request for ‘White Stuff’
In a televised speech from the Oval Office on Wednesday, President Trump continued his “I don’t give a shit about you people” tour, delivering a lackluster speech that included a travel ban for noncitizens coming from Europe, but didn’t include the U.K, because well, three Trump golf courses are located there. And, if all of…
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Bernie Sanders Holds Press Conference to Announce…He’s Still in the Race
Independent Sen. Bernie Sanders sure knows how to milk a moment, doesn’t he? After a Deontay Wilder-like showing on Tuesday, Sanders called a press conference Wednesday to announce that he doesn’t care if he’s a bazillion delegates behind, he’s going to stay in the fight for the Democratic presidential nomination. He then went on a…
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Coronavirus be Damned, Trump Will Hold Rally Because He Can’t Stop Rallying
There has been one thing consistent in Trump’s life from the time he announced that he was running for president until now: rallying. Trump might hold the record as the most rallying president in the history of America. He’s addicted to rallying. In fact, he can’t stop rallying even when his life may depend on…
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Democratic Primaries: Joe Biden Beats Bernie Sanders Like He Stole His Tax Refund
At this point, it might be time for independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders to start thanking his supporters and urging them not to be petty Bettys and make sure that they support the eventual Democratic presidential nominee, former Vice President and lifeguard Joe Robinette Biden. Like all-black low-top Nike Air Force 1s, Biden proved to…
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Trump Trying to Paint Biden as Mentally Unstable Is the Pot Calling the Kettle an Idiot
In today’s “pot-meet-kettle” news, President Donald Trump would like all of America to know that Democratic front-runner Joe Biden—wait for it—may lack the mental capacity to be president. According to Politico, Trump stood before about 500 Republican donors at his Mar-a-Lago resort on Friday to stress his concern that Biden may not have the mental…
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Cornel West, What You Doin'?
FLINT, Mich—Political surrogates for presidential candidates have a tough job. They have to pitch their preferred candidates’ strengths while avoiding tough questions about their weaknesses and shortcomings in a way that doesn’t excuse them. It’s an impossible mission because all politicians will fail you. They have too many people to please and someone always ends…
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Matt Gaetz Wore a Gas Mask on House Floor and Now He’s Self-Quarantined After Being Exposed to Coronavirus
Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is an asshole. That’s it. That’s the story. Seriously, Gaetz is a such an asshole that other assholes who aren’t as good as he is at being an asshole consider him #assholegoals. Rep. Matt Gaetz is such an asshole that he wore a gas mask on the House floor and people…
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Life After Lockup: Fresh Off a Presidential Pardon, Angela Stanton-King Announces She's Coming for Rep. John Lewis' Congressional Seat
I’m all for people getting a second chance at life, but looking to test that credo is a convicted felon named Angela Stanton-King, who took a break from laying hands on Donald Trump to announce that she’ll be running for a U.S. Congressional seat in Georgia against the much more deserving incumbent, Rep. John Lewis.…
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Michael Bloomberg Is Trying to Buy His Way Into Heaven, Donates $2 Million to Nonprofit to Register Black Voters
Looks like evil billionaire and former 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Michael Bloomberg is giving $2 million of his own money to a nonprofit that works to register black voters in time for November’s general election. According to the Palm Beach Post, Bloomberg gave Collective Future, “which is the nonprofit arm of the Collective, a political…