Politics
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Andrew Gillum Is Back
In March, back when the coronavirus pandemic was still a figment of our imagination, former Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum was involved in an alleged crystal meth-related incident at a Miami Beach hotel. The details weren’t pretty and the rumors circulating around social media were even more gruesome. But instead of cowering in the shadows,…
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Missouri Governor: Kids Have to Go Back to School and They Will Get COVID-19, But They’ll 'Get Over It'
If Donald Trump and a pair of discarded seersucker shorts had a baby boy and that little bastion of racism, idiocy and yacht wear grew up to run for office, he would be Missouri Gov. Mike Parson. During a radio interview Friday, the Republican noted that children have to go back to school. I think…
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Maxine Waters Is a Goddamn Superhero: Watch the California Representative Intervene During Police Stop
Democratic California Rep. Maxine Waters is 81 years old. I’m not trying to put auntie on blast, I’m just pointing out that 81 years of fighting for civil rights hasn’t stopped this queen from taking on the President of the United States and even stopping to make sure a police officer wasn’t violating one of…
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Trump Clowned for Bragging About Cognitive Test and More From That Bizarre Fox News Interview
When Trump took office, he made it clear that he was a Fox News man. Since Melania was often spending evenings with her boyfriend, the president, before retiring to his sleeping coffin, would dress in barely-there clothing and watch the news station in the presidential bedroom. The cable news channel had been easy on the…
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Trump’s Niece: My Uncle, the President, Was Out Here Dropping the N-Word Like a Rapper
President Trump’s niece Mary L. Trump is not here to play with y’all. Not only has her takedown of the Trump family, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man, done Beyoncé first-week numbers, but during an interview with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, she cleared up any doubt that the…
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Mike Pompeo Bashes the New York Times’ 1619 Project During Racist Dog Whistle Concert
On Thursday, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo held a one-man, racist dog whistle concert in which he stoked the flames of racism, bashed the New York Times and admonished those who removed Confederate statues. “Today, the very core of what it means to be an American, indeed the American way of life itself, is under…
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Progressive Jamaal Bowman Defeats 16-Term Incumbent Eliot Engel
We told y’all earlier that the middle school principal would win. Now, after a lengthy vote count, it’s official.
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Georgia Governor Is Such a Boat Shoe That He’d Rather Sue Atlanta's Mayor Than Have Georgians Wear Masks
Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp is a Tucker. A “Tucker” is a whiny man-baby who usually holds a position of perceived power that no one respects. A “Tucker” belongs to a club (chess, tennis, racquetball, horseback riding). A Tucker goes boating. A Tucker will change the rules in the middle of the game to ensure victory.…
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The Trumps Are Eating Goya Beans, and I Need Someone to Fix the Flux Capacitor and Get Us the Hell Out of 2020
If you had Trump hawking Goya products on your 2020 bingo card, then I would like you to email me at stephen.crockett@theroot.com as I’m going to need three-digit and four-digit numbers to play before 8 p.m. ET. Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Has anyone seen Doc so he can come fix the goddamn…