Police Union Criticizes NHL Team for Opposing Racism

Illustration for article titled Police Union Criticizes NHL Team for Opposing Racism
Photo: Bruce Bennett/NHL (Getty Images)

Racist white people hate being called racist white people.

I know this because I receive emails, tweets and DMs from white people who are insulted by the notion that all white people don’t hate Black people. Most recently, after an article about patriotism and the NBA strike (or this one about Ben Shapiro...or this one about Steve Bannon), I was deluged with emails from people who know the rules to hacky sack explaining why I should stop loosely using the word “racist” to refer to their heroes. I love when this happens because, sometimes, when I am in a playful mood, I will respond to their argument with a simple request:

“Hey, can you help me out?” I will type as I muffle my giggles with the soft click-clack of the keyboard. “Could you point out the sentence in the article where I called Ben Shapiro, Tucker Carlson or ‘all white people’ racist?”

“A hit dog will holler.”
-Ancient usher board proverb.

The phenomenon of Caucasian Creedence Clearwater Revivalists self-projecting their complicit racism was on full display this weekend when the head of the union representing 3,500 police officers in Las Vegas issued a scorching statement condemning the local National Hockey League franchise for turning its back on its heroic crime fighters, the Review-Journal reports


In a letter to the Las Vegas Golden Knights and their owner Bill Foley, Las Vegas Police Protective Association President Steve Grammas excoriated the team for pushing the divisive narrative that blamed racist cops for the bullets that spontaneously appeared in the back of unarmed Jacob Blake, in Kenosha, Wis.

“It appears, to my law enforcement brothers and sisters, that the Golden Knights would rather jump on the bandwagon of attacking the police profession rather than waiting for the facts of the event to be brought to light,” wrote Grammas in the scathing letter that was stained with blue tears (which can only be produced from the tear ducts of “blue lives”). “Watching the video of the incident in Kenosha, I myself have many questions about how the officer ended up using deadly force. Rather than immediately siding with the officer, just because he and I share the same profession, I needed to wait to get the FACTS of the incident.”

Wow, this is stunning. I’ve never seen a cop essentially say: “Yeah, when I saw it, I thought it was fucked up, too.” However, Grammas went on to manufacture alternative facts (commonly called “lies”) while simultaneously disregarding the evidence. The union chief simultaneously questioned if Blake’s children were even in the car but insisted that Blake was “armed with a knife.”

“What if the suspect was stealing the car and kidnapping the kids from the mother?” Grammas pondered, with no evidence whatsoever. “What if he intended on a murder-suicide, which is all too common in Domestic Violence cases?”

Grammas also posited that Blake may have “told the officers he was going to get a firearm from his car to attempt to take their lives,” or that the unarmed Black man’s ultimate goal was to get in the car to kill his children. Finally, Grammas admitted that he might be making all of this up, explaining that he had “no idea if any of the above are true, but neither do you or the Golden Knights.”

To be honest, Grammas has a point. For instance, no one also knows if Steve Grammas wakes up every morning and screams “Today is a good day to go nigger hunting” before masturbating to a recurring fantasy of himself patrolling the outskirts of an antebellum plantation until he finally massacres a group of passengers on the Underground Railroad while a single tear rolls down Harriet Tubman’s muddy cheek.


I have no idea if any of this is true—but neither do you or the Golden Knights.

“Your organization is extremely quick to turn their back on law enforcement, which [leads] me to wonder, if we have an incident in Las Vegas where other sports groups or political parties say what the police did was wrong, with no facts, would you turn on us as well.” Grammas continued before explaining an incident when the Golden Knights signed memorabilia for the family of a police officer who was shot in the line of duty.


Grammas closed by advising the NHL players to educate themselves “on the issue at hand” because “nobody hates a bad cop more than a good cop.”

Illustration for article titled Police Union Criticizes NHL Team for Opposing Racism
Image: Las Vegas Police Protection Association

It is evident that Steve Grammas is not a “good cop.” His screed can only be described as the insane screams of a son of a bitch (which is technically not a slur because all dogs are sons of bitches) because there is one interesting detail in the Golden Knights’ statement that caused Grammas’ flameout:

It didn’t have a single reference to Jacob Blake, police brutality or even police officers in general.


The team only stated that they were against racial injustices and supported racial equality and activism. They didn’t accuse the police of racism or even mention Kenosha, Wis. Either Steve Grammas can’t read or he is infuriated that his local hockey team is against systemic racism. Even though Las Vegas police proudly endorses racism (and Donald Trump), we shouldn’t judge them before we know all the facts.


For instance, perhaps the Las Vegas Police Protective Association is part of a national fantasy murder league that earns points for every person they kill. Maybe they get extra credit for each bullet they pump into a Black body and bonus points for when the victim is unarmed. Perhaps Steve Grammas thinks it’s unfair that when Kyle Rittenhouse’s fantasy police brutality points automatically went to Kenosha’s team because they looked the other way when a teenager with a killing machine allegedly killed two people. Maybe Steve Grammas is trying to inspire the members of his union to get out there and shoot more unarmed Black people if they want to reach the nigger-killing Super Bowl.

I have no idea if any of this is true…

But neither do you or the Golden Knights.

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.



All that military gear that was given to local PDs seems to have been wasted if all it takes is a little tweet to wound them so.