I am not a religious person, so I don’t believe in heaven and hell. I don’t think of the devil as some evil being residing just below the earth’s crust, dragging all the evil people down there to live with him for eternity because they were horrible people who deserve to suffer forever.
If I did think like that, however, I would say the devil is busy. He is busy trying to pull his little brother, Donald John Trump—first of his name, racist evil incarnate, he of the orange spray tan, mini hands and even littler wee-wee—down into the depths with him. It’s where he belongs.
News reports surfaced Tuesday that a sinkhole had opened at the White House. That was the devil’s—or Earth’s—attempt at taking this fucker down, but it wasn’t the only attempt made.
Mar-a-Lago is sometimes referred to as the “Winter White House.” It’s where Trump goes to waste taxpayer dollars by playing golf.
Think of it this way: Florida is swampland. This means that Earth is quite literally attempting to drain the swamp for us—starting with Donald Trump.