Some Thoughts
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I've Eaten 170,000 Honey Roasted Peanuts Since March
So this morning after eating the 170,000th honey roasted peanut I’ve eaten since March OH IT WAS SO DELICIOUS THE WAY THE HONEY AND THE ROASTED PEANUT CONVERGED IN MY MOUTH CRUNCHY SWEET TANGY SEXY YES SEXY A HONEY ROASTED PEANUT IS THE SEXIEST NUT WAY SEXIER THAN CASHEWS WHICH HAVE NUT SCOLIOSIS AND ALMONDS…
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Why Are the Men in Talib Kweli's Life Enabling Him to Harass Black Women?
There’s been a bit of a debate within The Root on how to cover Talib Kweli’s inexhaustible obsession with Maya Moody. For context, the 44-year-old rapper, who has over one million Twitter followers, grew upset when Moody tweeted the mildest of observations about the sort of women rappers tend to marry, and has tweeted at…
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I've Been a Homeowner for Two Years Now. Here's What I've Learned
THERE ARE TAXES AND FEES YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF SEWAGE FEES LAWN TAXES NEIGHBORHOOD FEES URINE TAXES EVERYTHING’S EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING BREAKS EVENTUALLY SHIT YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BREAK WILL BREAK I HAD A BROKEN STOOP STEP LAST YEAR HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BREAK A STOOP STEP WE HAVE SOFT FEET…
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A Reminder To Me and You, Your Mama and Your Cousin, Too, That You Miss 100 Percent of The Shots You Don't Take
I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts, especially those that feature Black artists. My favorite (and one I’ve written about before) is Questlove Supreme because it’s a show where they somehow book many of my favorite artists and I also feel like I could be part of the team. Questlove and the rest…
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A Reminder That Snoop Dogg Is a Sellout
Snoop Dogg has several iconic and hateful songs that many people know and love, and his upcoming Verzuz battle against DMX will induce nostalgia in those moved by that sort of thing. He is also a sellout who was still chummy enough with Donald Trump in 2011 to appear on a Comedy Central roast of…
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A (Still Growing) List of People I Suspect Are Made of Cake
1. Terry Crews 2. Bari Weiss 3. Kendrick Perkins 4. Andrew Sullivan 5. Betsy Devos 6. Pigeon Shit Shoulder Boy 7. Bill Maher 8. J.K. Rowling 9. Jared Kushner 10. Van Jones 11. Jada Pinkett Smith 12. Trashcan Leprechaun 13. Ron DeSantis 14. Ted Cruz 15. Jason Whitlock 16. This one woman I met in…
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Is Chance the Rapper Secretly Just A Human-Sized Sheet Cake? (Probably!)
Chance the Rapper is a rapper who raps about the sort of things you’d expect a rapper with “Rapper” in their rap name to rap about. If you are not familiar with him or his work, the best way to describe him and it is “aggressively earnest.” Think of a trade school admissions counselor who…
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What Would Be an Appropriate Consequence (Or Punishment) for Someone Like Amy Cooper?
There’s a scene in Gone Baby Gone where Patrick Kenzie (Casey Affleck) is deep in the white hoods of Boston, and he runs into two dopeboys he knows—one Black and one white. After greeting the Black one, he turns to speak to the white one. Patrick Kenzie: How you been, Chris? Chris: Better than you.…
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We Just Can't Afford to Stay This Fucking Stupid
I was reminded—while threading together my thoughts on Stephen Jackson’s defense of DeSean Jackson’s defense of…Adolf Hitler—of an article I read in 2016 or 2017 I think, about Donald Trump. In it, it was revealed that Trump was somewhat surprised that so many Black people despise him, because, up until he ran for president, he’d…
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White People Have Weaponized ‘I Feel Threatened’ the Same Way They Have Weaponized the Police
This won’t be long, because I am not going to belabor the point. Much in the same way white people have weaponized the police against Black bodies, they have also adopted the language of those who protect and uplift whiteness and white supremacy—the police. Historically, we’ve seen that the only thing a cop needs to…