Opinion
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Intentionally Bad Tippers Are Trash People You Should Never Trust, and There Are No Exceptions to This Rule
One of the most underrated parts of a) adulthood and b) being an adult with an occupation that allows for some flexibility on where I’m able to work is that I don’t have to spend much time around people I don’t fuck with. No asshole 11th grader I have to catch the school bus with each…
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Gifted Handouts: How Questionable Ethics Are Plaguing Ben Carson's Time at HUD
Even before the President nominated Ben Carson to serve as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, many, including Carson, raised questions about his qualifications to lead a federal agency. However, after 16 months on the job, Carson’s inability to abide by ethical guidelines has undermined his work at HUD even more than his inexperience. Now…
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#BrooklynBecky: Cops Called on Suspicious-Looking 'Black' Woman Waiting for Uber in the Rain
A recent video of a white woman calling the police on a woman for standing in a likely gentrified Brooklyn building’s doorway highlights the black community’s unawareness of a set of secretly ratified constitutional amendments guaranteeing Colonizer-Americans the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of unapologetic whiteness. On July 25, Facebook user Darsell Obregon…
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Cue the World's Smallest Violin: White Driver Who Followed Black Man, Called Him Slurs, Now Whines About Life Being Ruined
An Ohio state contractor who, in a fit of road rage, took it upon himself to follow a black man to his home and call him a “nigger” repeatedly is now whining and complaining about his life being ruined. Hmm, this year’s crop of white tears is exceptional. Jeffrey Whitman, the owner of Uriahs Heating…
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Donald Trump Is America's Greatest President
As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. – H.L.…
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Amazon Should Replace Literally Every White Man to Save Local Taxpayers Money
There was a time that white men offered the local community lots of services in exchange for their tax money. They would invent things like the Snickers bar and the shoelace, they wouldn’t exist as things named Tekashi 6ix9ine, and they saved Private Ryan. Residents could borrow any white man they wanted, marry it, and…
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Woman Who Called Police on 2 Black Yale Students Says She's 'Done Absolutely Nothing Wrong' in Whitest Tweets Ever
Marking a record-breaking technological accomplishment, the white woman who called the police on a black woman sleeping in a common room in a Yale dormitory became the first person ever to tweet white tears when she took to Twitter on Wednesday to lament the fact that she has become a victim of her own Beckydom.…
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The University of Virgina Hired a Trump Staffer Days Before the Charlottesville Anniversary and, as an Alum, I’m Okay With That
It’s been over a year and America pretty much knows who Donald Trump is. He’s racist. (Full stop). He’s selling us out to the Russians and big business, and he’s a habitual, unadulterated, unfiltered, premium draft, liar. Either you’re down with his Forever 21 white nationalist authoritarian regime, or you’re not. At this point, most…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Seinfeld of Mailbags
Yesha’s back, which means I have to sit here and write an extended lede. Sometimes I feel like Yesha’s just being mean to me. I bet she doesn’t even read these intros. I could probably ramble on about anything and she would just check to see if there were the requisite amount of words to…
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A Real Week In New York City on an Intern's Salary
Welcome to the life of a recent college grad who is interning in New York for the first time. I’m going to spill the real tea on how we millennials spend our hard-earned money, because let one marketing intern tell it, she’s living the life working in HR and making $25/hour. The intern recently talked…