Opinion
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Most Chicken Wings Are Trash
If you are a chicken wing connoisseur—which I consider myself to be—you undoubtedly know the best wing spots in your city like you know your own face. You know the hours they’re open, the number of rubs and sauces available on their menus, the days they have specials, whether they provide free ranch and/or blue…
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25 Questions for the People Who Wear Masks While Driving Their Cars
1. Why are you doing this? 2. I don’t get it? 3. I mean I get how COVID has invaded our brains and made us question whether the things we’re doing are healthy and safe? 4. Just yesterday I rubbed hand sanitizer on a Snickers wrapper before opening it? 5. Which I’m certain isn’t safe?…
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The Caucasian's Guide to Aunties
For years, the investigative team at The Root has feverishly sought an answer to the age-old question: “Do white people have cousins?” While our project is still undergoing the rigorous peer review process, our researchers can say, with a modicum of confidence, that white people indeed have aunts. We unearthed evidence that Aunt Jackie from…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: A Learning Experience
Today’s mailbag is dedicated to the people who inform Black people on how to overcome racism. That’s why we’re all here, right? I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m here to learn about how to appreciate this great country. I’m here to soak up the knowledge about how to move forward and forget the…
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Auntie Unfiltered: Let's Talk About Conscious Communication
Every single day, I encounter people who project their unresolved trauma out on everyone else each time they open their mouths. It’s something I am hyper aware of with myself. I work hard to be aware of the words I use and how I speak to others. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind and…
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30 Questions About Dr. Umar Johnson's Claim That Black Americans Spend $19 Million a Year on Grits
In an Instagram post on Labor Day, Dr. Umar Johnson lamented that he would be able to build multiple schools for Black boys if we gave our annual grit money to him instead. I have questions. 1. Where did he find that number? 2. Is there a secret registry of grain-specific stats that only hotep…
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I Would Like to Speak With the Manager, Please
You saw the title. I would like to speak with the motherfucking manager. Over the weekend, I found myself in the McDonald’s drive-thru because… Actually, don’t fucking worry about why I went, just know that I was there. I was hungry and wanted something quick. I didn’t want a burger though, because even though we…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: I Feel Fine
I’m going to stop being so offensive. From now on, I promise to respond to the violence, theft and downright absurdity of white supremacy with eloquently composed reactions that ruffle no feathers and leave no one feeling offended. From this day forward, I won’t call the white people who inflict pain “white people who inflict…
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A List of Black People I'm (Mostly) Certain Are Not White Women From Kansas
1. Tyronn Lue 2. My aunt Jean 3. The nigga who played “Poot” from The Wire 4. The cute widdle Black baby model on the box of Pampers I bought yesterday 5. Boston University professor Saida Grundy 6. Panama Jackson 7. “Shatasha” from Bone Thugs n’ Harmony 8. Summer Lee 9. That young boy at…