Opinion
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A List of Broke-Ass Shit Still Less Broke Than Y'all's Broke-Ass President
1. Lonzo Ball’s jump shot 2. The Pittsburgh Public School System 3. The Kardashians, if they lived in a world where spicy-ish white girls weren’t catnip to thirsty niggas 4. Me, at 26 5. Actually, me until like 17 minutes ago 6. The clippers that Rajon Rondo’s bubble barber must’ve used 7. The Barksdale family…
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If You Thought It'd Be Fun to Get a Toothache and See a Dentist During a Pandemic, Guess What? It's Not!
I know, I know, I know. Staying socially distant during COVID is quite the drag, and you thought it would be new and exciting and fun to have one of the wisdom teeth you actually planned to extract in April—but couldn’t because COVID—get infected. You already walked all the steps, streamed all the shows, and…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: 10 Things I Love About White People
I know I’ve made fun of white people in the past but I hate being negative all the time. So today’s Clapback mailbag is dedicated to all the things I truly admire about our Caucasian brethren. Alexa, play “My Favorite Things.” Our first letter contains four things I love about people who stick their feet…
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Auntie Unfiltered: Can White Women Be Aunties, Too?
This week on Auntie Unfiltered, I go into the mailbag and answer a question from a white woman who wants to know whether white women can be “aunties” as well. The short answer? Sure. If you are an actual aunt to nieces and nephews and your nieces and nephews actually call you “Auntie”-whatever, then you…
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Daniel Cameron’s Tears Were a Job Application
Of course, the tears Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron shed during his press conference this afternoon were a lie. They were also an audition. The audience he was performing for—the people he’s been speaking to with his body language, his haircut, his intonation, his choice of wife, and his wedding date—witnessed both the sort of hollow…
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The Joker's Plan in The Dark Knight Was Dependent on Expected Brutality From a 'Good' Cop
The success of The Joker’s numerous schemes in The Dark Knight is dependent on a medley of greed, corruption, stupidity, and mostly collective late-stage astigmatism. Blowing up Gotham General, for instance, requires the thousands of nurses and doctors and orderlies and janitors and cafeteria workers and patients and patients’ families in the hospital to either…
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg Could've Died in Peace If White People Were Better People
Propped on the pavement, planted in yards, and sitting on stoops in every block in my neighborhood this morning are kaleidoscopic signs encouraging people to register to vote and reminding us, of course, that Black Lives Matter. I do not know which organization created them. Definitely one of the dozens (hundreds?) targeting Black, and Latino,…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Don't @ Me
I’ve been waiting for this. Four years ago, I stumbled across a story about Judge Ralph D. Gants. Gants was known as a “fearless advocate for racial justice” and used his position to challenge every part of the criminal justice system. Shortly after Gants was appointed as Massachusetts’ chief justice, an attorney insisted that the…
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Maurkice Pouncey Apologizes to Police for Wearing the Name of a Kid They Killed on His Helmet
Former East Pittsburgh police officer Michael Rosfeld was forced out of his job as a University of Pittsburgh cop in 2018, found work in the East Pittsburgh police department soon after, killed 17-year-old Antwon Rose Jr. his first day on the street—shooting Rose three times in the back while Rose ran from him—and was acquitted…
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Are These Timberlands?
Yes, technically. But they’re not Timbs. There’s a difference? Yes. Care to expound? No.