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More Officers Were Fired for Killing Porcupines Than for Killing Breonna Taylor

Illustration for article titled More Officers Were Fired for Killing Porcupines Than for Killing Breonna Taylor
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Let me first just say that porcupine lives matter.

Two Maine police officers were fired and criminally charged in connection with the beating and killing of 11 POC. (Porcupines of color...because I’m pretty sure they’re all black and brown although, to be fair, I’ve never actually seen a porcupine. I’ve also never met anyone from Maine but I will reluctantly concede that the state exists.)

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The Courier-Gazette reports that 27-year-old Addison Cox and 30-year-old Michael Rolerson were both fired from the Rockland Police Department on Sept. 22 and on Oct. 2 and were charged with aggravated animal cruelty and a misdemeanor for night hunting. Cox was also charged with misdemeanor unlawful use or possession of implements or aids, while Rolerson was charged with misdemeanor illuminating wild animals or birds. (Between “night hunting” and “illuminating wild animals or birds,” I’m pretty sure J. K. Rowling is writing the laws in Maine.) A third officer, Kenneth Smith, was placed on administrative leave for recording and posting a video of the brutality on Snapchat.

It’s unclear what led to the deadly use of force on nearly a dozen members of the porcupine community, but I have a few guesses.

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First of all, those piners with the hard R were probably resisting arrest. I’m sure they were asked several times to put down their weapons and those pesky PLM terrorists refused. Never mind that their weapons are attached to their backs, when a cop tells you to put them down, you put them down.

The only thing I’m sure of is that the senseless killings of these poor creatures didn’t happen due to the botched execution of a search warrant obtained through sketchy circumstances—way too many firings and criminal charges came out of this for that to be the case.

I will admit that this was a clear case of species profiling. I mean, I’ve never seen this kind of thing happen to polar bears or albino hedgehogs. (Of course, those damn raccoons stay in the Sunken Place thinking respectability politics will ensure that extrajudicial killings will never happen to their black and brown asses, but they all find out the truth when they become roadkill and their bodies are just left in the streets and shown no respect.)

Rolerson, the Brett Hankinson of animal abusers, clearly targeted the porcupines in what should be considered a hate crime.

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From Insider:

The report said that footage published in June showed Rolerson allegedly beating a porcupine using his baton and saying, “I got him.” A picture of the dead animal was posted shortly after, according to the outlet.

The two officers later told investigators they killed the porcupines. Rolerson said he killed approximately eight porcupines, while Cox said he killed three, the Courier-Gazette reported.

A fellow officer reported the incident in August, telling her supervisor that “Officer Rolerson not only chased the animal into the woods to kill it, but returned with a smile on his face and appeared as though he enjoyed it,” according to the Courier-Gazette.

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You gotta love it when the analogy pretty much writes itself.

I’m just waiting for the Rockland Police Department to hire Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron to explain to the people that, while his condolences go out to the families of the deceased porcupines as well as the families of the fine police officers accused of killing them, the case shouldn’t be decided in the court of public opinion and justice will be served in accordance to the law.

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I don’t care if the woodland creatures of Maine and the rest of America burn all this shit down.

Zack Linly is a poet, performer, freelance writer, blogger and grown man lover of cartoons

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DISCUSSION

I guess this is how we get White people to vote for police reform.