Mike Tyson on Oprah: Oy.


I watched Mike Tyson sit on Oprah Winfrey's couch knowing no good could come of it. Oprah has rocks for brains and Mike Tyson is like Bigger Thomas: a terribly confused black man who defaults to his worst instincts, despite knowing better, despite his best intentions. Tyson sat on the couch looking like he could have jumped up and bit Oprah's ear off at any second, and she was obviously shook, softballing questions like a champ. Mike Tyson could not decide if he was angry, sad, glad and was so clearly out of control, I kept waiting for him to smack Oprah like that trained bear smacked that one TV host.

Tyson on Oprah looked alot like a man who is having a hard time dealing with a barrage of conflicting emotions and probably needs to be sedated. Stat. I want to to tell you about his appearance, tell you exactly what it was about, but I have no idea. His mumbling was like the worst kind of Drunk Hobo Haiku you have ever heard from homeless drunks in the street. Even as Oprah nods, she knows he is completely incomprehensible.  Clearly, his appearance mapped to the release of the DVD of his riveting documentary, but beyond that, it read like human tragedy porn: Oprah peeled Tyson's skin back raw while he tried not to flinch. And we watched. When they brought his newborn daughter out on the stage, I lost it and turned. The spectacle was too much for me.


Tyson is a man on fire, a dangerous imbecile caught somewhere between a nervous breakdown and (with his bubble-headed wife Kiki who seems to  be in some state of denial [Tyson's words] about her new husband's past)  the mother of all reality shows.

Oprah doesn't know any better, but I'm hoping someone that loves Tyson steps in and puts a stop to this madness. I pray this is Tyson's last appearance on TV. Ever. What is increasingly clear to me is that, just like Don King stuck it to him, Mike Tyson is still being exploited at every turn, and he lives a hundred years and is never on TV again, it'll be too soon.

Single Father, Author, Screenwriter, Award-Winning Journalist, NPR Moderator, Lecturer and College Professor. Habitual Line-Stepper