Atlanta is the COVID capital of the world. Nobody can convince me otherwise.
Sure, Houston has been in strong contention—y’all really gotta chill with those day parties—but no city has completely disregarded the health and safety of its residents during a fucking global pandemic like The A. Almost every time you hop on Instagram, all you see is overcrowded clubs, extravagant baby showers and COVID-19 taking duckface selfies with celebrities.
Do y’all even sell masks out there?
Yet despite all of this, the NBA is moving forward with its terrible ass decision to have a condensed NBA All-Star Weekend. And guess which city will serve as host for what promises to be the must-see, super spreader event of the century? If you guessed Atlanta, go swab your nose. Because you’re 100 percent correct.
Typically, every man, woman, and Instagram model hell-bent on compromising their integrity descends upon NBA All-Star Weekend to consume alcoholic beverages, party with washed-up rappers, and collect STDs. But before the festivities kick off on March 7, Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms—who prayerfully won’t be catering any events—wants to make one thing explicitly clear: If you don’t already have a 404 area code, your Black ass is not welcomed.
“Under normal circumstances, we would be extremely grateful for the opportunity to host the NBA All-Star Game,” Bottoms said, per NBC Atlanta’s Chenue Her. “But this is not a typical year. I have shared my concerns related to public health and safety with the NBA and Atlanta Hawks.”
She continued, “We are in agreement that this is a made-for-TV event only, and people should not travel to Atlanta to party. There will be no NBA-sanctioned events open to the public, and we strongly encourage promoters, clubs, bars, etc. not to host events in the city related to this game.”
Bottoms then echoed her statement with her own Instagram post that included the caption “#WeFull.”
Y’all been out here bad for how many months and now y’all got a COVID conscience?! As to be expected, absolutely nobody is buying this.
I personally will be skipping out on all the All-Star weekend festivities this year, and unless you crave a hot date with a ventilator, I highly suggest you do the same.