Someone you know – or someone you follow – woke up this Valentine’s Day morning single as hell, trying to figure out if they can DoorDash brunch on one of the busiest restaurant days of the year and planning an all-day “Sex and the City” marathon with their dog.
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All because they cut loose a boo with whom they had a good thing cooking before TikTok convinced them that 27 seconds is too long to wait for a response text in the “dating phase.”
That social media is such a problematic arbiter of relationship advice hit me earlier this week when I came across this eye-wateringly awful “advice” on Threads this week:
With an exceedingly limited amount of context, several folks deduced that the answer for this young lady (who probably shouldn’t have posted this to begin with) is to throw away an entire fiancé because an “lol” means he doesn’t actually like the woman he asked to be his wife.
Social media relationship content is big business for Black folks. TikTok and Instagram’s discover pages will happily curse you with a talking head barking enthusiastically about what we’re doing daily to sabotage our potential happiness. Or with someone who’s been in a relationship for about three days breaking down how you can do it too if only you follow these five tips!
It’s entertaining stuff and we sop it up like a biscuit to gravy. Nothing wrong with engaging it – but taking the advice of these clowns with anything more than a grain of salt is a good way to die alone.
Everyone wants to be a content creator these days, and many will do whatever it takes – including labeling themselves a “dating coach” (like they had to finish a formal certification program for that bullshit) to stoke the interminable flames of the internecine dating war between Black folks, doing the heavy lifting of white supremacy by turning us against each other.
Some folks are out here with sincere advice, but it’s so difficult to discern who’s being authentic and who is feeding you dogshit for content’s sake that I throw it all in the slop pile by default.
Take this idiot shuffling beads talking about how a Black man shouldn’t even approach a woman if he doesn’t have at least $300,000 in cash in the reserves (which literally writes off more than 99 percent of all Black American men). It’s probably rage bait, but it’ll motivate some tender-headed men to grow old alone chasing after “generational wealth” instead of wisely linking with a woman to grow it as a family.
Even advice that seems ostensibly healthy can have a negative psychological impact. Lori Harvey caught wind this week for her comment of approval on the post of an “influencer” following up on a two-year-old post she made about breaking up with a man who was great but “not good enough,” only to flex her big-ass engagement ring and remind her followers to wait for greatness.
Common sense perhaps, but a whole bunch of young women who aren’t old enough to rent a car from Enterprise will see this and think they must hold out for the perfection that they’ll learn the hard way doesn’t actually exist.
A good rule of thumb when approaching social media dating content is to assume that the loudest folks are likely the loneliest and most perpetually single. There’s virtually no Venn diagram overlap between folks who dedicate much of their social media presence to bashing the opposite sex and those in happy relationships. The “Don’t let a man take you for a coffee date” contingent hits “post” wishing they had a bae they could feel good introducing to their mama.
Figure the quietest folks are in the happiest, healthiest and most secure partnerships. We’ll get a few photos and stories with their bae, but they’re too busy chillin’, cuddling and risking their freedom on hotel balconies to bitch online about how much pee is in the dating pool.
If you really need dating advice, talk to your parents. Talk to the friends who know you better than anyone else. Hell, talk to a therapist. But heed the cliché and follow your gut on all things romance. If it bugs you a bit, address it. If it bothers you too much, bow out.
But don’t let the noise online trick you – and maybe you’ll be making reservations Valentine’s Day 2027 with someone other than your Pomeranian.
Straight From 
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