Maya Rudolph is the New Face of M&Ms. You’ll Never Believe How We Got Here

Conservatives wanted to make the green M&M sexier. To bring peace back to candy marketing, M&M has chosen Maya Rudolph as the brand's new face.

Maya Rudolph is officially the new spokesperson for M&Ms. Sheโ€™s funny, sheโ€™s gorgeous, she seems nice. Honestly, I couldnโ€™t think of a better person for the job.

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But youโ€™re probably wondering: why is a news website writing about M&Msโ€™ new celebrity spokesperson?

Thatโ€™s because this story is about way more than Maya Rudolphโ€™s next gig. On Monday, the Mars company announced the spokesperson news like this:

https://twitter.com/mmschocolate/status/1617518785686274052?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

โ€œAmerica letโ€™s talk. In the last year weโ€™ve made some changes to our beloved spokescandies. We werenโ€™t sure if anyone would even notice. And we definitely didnโ€™t think it would break the internet. But now we get it โ€” even a candyโ€™s shoes can be polarizing,โ€ reads the tweet. โ€œTherefore we decided to take an indefinite pause from the spokescandies. In their place we are proud to introduce a spokesperson America can agree on: the beloved Maya Rudolph.โ€

A normal person might ask, โ€œwait who had a problem with changes to the M&Ms shoes?โ€

The โ€œwhoโ€ would be none other than Tucker Carlson, who on several rants about the fact that the green M&M was losing her boots and the brown M&M was getting kitten-heels.

Carlson argued that the company was trying to make their candy โ€œless sexy.โ€ I kid you not, he said that corporations were on an agenda to make the candy less appealing, โ€œuntil you wouldnโ€™t want to have a drink with anyone of them.โ€

The fact that we can no longer have candy ads featuring candy because Carlson and his legion of fans donโ€™t want to wine and dine them, is official proof that we are in the dumbest timeline imaginable.

Rudolph will be making her debut as the new human M&M spokesperson during a Super Bowl half-time commercial. But this whole thing is just another example of Black women being asked to clean up other peopleโ€™s mess. Letโ€™s be real, a Black woman would never have started a campaign to make M&Ms sexy again.

Congratulations to Maya Rudolph, youโ€™re going to need all the help you can get against the most toxic fanbase in the worldโ€”sexy M&M stans.

Straight From The Root

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