Illustration for article titled Maryland Man Robs Bank While Wearing Blackface
Screenshot: Perryville Police Department

You know, this is a situation where I’m unsure if our subject is racist or just a criminal.

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NBC News reports that a man in Perryville, Maryland robbed a bank while wearing blackface. Police described him as a “white man with paint on his face.” Mmm, that ain’t paint.

Look, we all know blackface is a practice with a shameful legacy in this country. In the year of our queen Beyonce 2020, there is simply no place for it. Yet, I find myself perplexed at this case. Is mans racist or is he just trying to get away with a crime? My biggest question is did he think he was actually going to pass as a black man?

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If y’all will allow, I’m going to employ some Detective Niggachu levels of deduction. Now, I understand doing whatever it takes to try and get away with a crime. I’m not about that life but I’ve seen enough movies about people who are. When engaging in the act, bank robbers typically they wear masks a la Point Break. Sometimes wigs and sunglasses will work as Set it Off showed us. While Dead Presidents did set a precedent for face paint, it wasn’t racist. That shit was just cool.

Now lets hypothesize what exactly ol’ boy expected to happen here. I’m going safely assume that the hope was his makeup was believable enough that the teller would go “A Black guy did it.” From there, the police would be deadset looking for a black man in his late 20s to early 30s. Now, if we’ve learned anything from living as black people under the oppressive eye of the American legal system it’s that we all look the same to them. I hypothesize that this man was not trying to rob the bank. Oh no reader, I believe he we was trying to get a black man convicted of a crime he didn’t commit!

Bit of a stretch?

Okay, fine. Fine. Dude probably is just a racist who thought robbing a bank was a good excuse to wear blackface.

Jr Staff Writer @TheRoot. Watcher of wrestling, player of video games. Mr. Steal Your Disney+ Password.

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