KFC Is Selling Firelogs That Smell like Fried Chicken Since Nobody Wants to Eat There

By a show of hands, how many of you eat KFC?

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Nobody? Oh.

Well, in the latest example of terrible ass ideas that nobody asked for, KFC announced that it will be helping you spread yuletide cheer. “How exactly?” you ask?

“At KFC, we have always been proud of our role in bringing loved ones together at the dinner table around a bucket of our world-famous fried chicken,” Andrea Zahumensky, the chief marketing officer of KFC US, said in a statement. “Now, this winter we’re bringing all the things we love — family, friends and fried chicken — together around the fire with our scented firelog.”

That’s right. A firelog.

But not just any firelog. One that smells like fried chicken.

“Imbued with the unmistakable, mouth-watering aroma of Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog finally puts to rest the age-old dilemma, “How can I make this fire a hundred bajillion times better?” This one-of-a-kind firelog from Enviro-Log, a leading manufacturer of firelogs made of 100 percent recycled materials, is the result of countless hours of research and development, all done over the last couple of months since we had this idea. Pick up a firelog today, and you’ll be wondering how you were ever able to enjoy a fire that didn’t smell like fried chicken.

Right.

So if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to have KFC’s 11 herbs and spices smoldering in your fireplace, you can find out by scooping a fried chicken log up at KFCFirelogs.com for the low, low price of $18.99.

Or just go to Popeyes.