Jimmy Butler Going to Work Just to Roast His Boss and Coworkers Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week

Illustration for article titled Jimmy Butler Going to Work Just to Roast His Boss and Coworkers Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Photo: Hannah Foslien (Getty Images)

On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. I’m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics discussed over the past 48 hours include 1) whether the pants with the tux we’re wearing fit appropriately and 2) the song we’re going to come out to when we make our group entrance during the second ceremony. “This Is America,” “The International Player’s Anthem,” and “I Choose You” are just a few of the songs nominated.


This entire wedding is dripping in blackness. It has officially reached “Back of Forest Whitaker’s Neck” status. Yet there’s nothing we could say or do this week that would be blacker than disgruntled Minnesota Timberwolves guard Jimmy Butler—after requesting to get traded—coming to work today for the first time all season just to roast his bosses and coworkers and kick their asses too.

From ESPN:

All-Star Jimmy Butler made a dramatic return to the Minnesota Timberwolves on Wednesday, boldly challenging teammates, coaches and front office executives in the session, league sources told ESPN.

Butler was vociferous and intense throughout scrimmage sessions, targeting president of basketball operations and coach Tom Thibodeau, general manager Scott Layden and teammates, including Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins, league sources said.

As the GM watched on the sidelines during a scrimmage, sources said that Butler yelled to Layden: “You f—-ing need me, Scott. You can’t win without me.”

It was Butler’s first practice with the team since requesting a trade three weeks ago.

Many of the Minnesota players left practice energized by Butler’s performance, mesmerized with him taking several end-of-the-bench players and running the table in scrimmage games against the regulars, league sources said.

Adding insult to blackness is that Butler reportedly walked out of practice as soon as the scrimmages ended—stunning his still speechless teammates and coaches—which is probably the best mic drop moment since Randy Watson. Who among us hasn’t fantasized about doing that at work? And by “at work” I mean “to America?” Perhaps, if it isn’t too late, we should shoehorn in a fourth wardrobe change for the wedding. Might as well quadruple down on blackness and rock matching Jimmy Butler jerseys too.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)


King Beauregard

Blackest thing that ever happened this week is the start of season 2 of “Black Lightning”, and I wonder why the hell people here aren’t talking about this show in tones of delirious rapture.