My email inbox is the boulevard of broken dreams.
Every day, I scour through dozens of emails from publicists and other interested parties eager to schedule a guest for my podcast, get something published in The Root or discuss some other matter of business related to the 50/11 other things I have my hands in.
Most of them go unanswered, some of them go unread, but today I saw something that made me tilt my head in disbelief. First I saw this:
LEGENDARY BOXER, MIKE TYSON, TO MAKE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED RETURN TO THE RING ON SEPTEMBER 12, 2020 ON PAY-PER-VIEW, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH TRILLER THE VIRAL SOCIAL MEDIA AND MUSIC PLATFORM
Okay, cool. Not entirely surprising, considering Tyson has been teasing his return for a hot minute now, but my interest was peaked. Then I saw this, and...
Legendary former Undisputed Heavyweight World Champion, and entrepreneur, Mike Tyson, is set to make his highly anticipated return to the ring in a face-off against four-division World Champion, Roy Jones Jr.
Wait, what? Roy Jones Jr.?
The same Roy Jones Jr. who retired about 14 years too late in 2018 and spent the mid-2000s kissing the canvas? The same Roy Jones Jr. that arguably killed his own career by yoyoing between weight classes? The same Roy Jones Jr. I completely forgot existed until reading that email? That Roy Jones Jr.?
“Oh shit,” I said out loud. “This nigga bout to die.”
I mean, sure. Iron Mike is 54 years old now and a far cry from the ravenous executioner he was in a past life, but have you seen how hard this dude still punches?!
Look at this shit!
Man, fuuuuuuck that. Roy bout to wake up in the afterlife, for real.
Their fight, if I can even call it that, will go down on September 12 as part of Tyson’s newly launched Legends Only League, a sports venture between Tyson and Erson Innovations. Also of note, we’ll be treated to a ten-part docu-series featuring behind-the-scenes, pre-fight footage leading up to the match that presumably includes Roy’s dentist begging him not to step into the ring.
“Frontline Battle,” the official title for this event, will be a three-hour extravaganza that will feature undercard matches and “iconic musical performances”—Please, God, no Flo-Rida—that will be announced soon. And if you’d like to partake, you’ll be able to watch Roy get decollated on pay-per-view and the multi-media platform, Triller.
If I was Roy, I’d just pay for somebody with the coronavirus to cough on me so I could dodge that fade. Keep his jaw in your prayers, y’all.