It Seems Like He's Ready: R. Kelly Announces Ingenious Plan to 'Straighten All This Stuff Out' After Being Released from Jail... Again

Illustration for article titled It Seems Like He's Ready: R. Kelly Announces Ingenious Plan to 'Straighten All This Stuff Out' After Being Released from Jail... Again
Photo: Cook County Sheriff’s Office (Getty Images)

As somebody who’s never spent a day in jail in my life, I can’t imagine calling up one of the homies and being like “Yo, I know these charges look crazy, but this million dollar bail ain’t gon’ pay itself. So you got me, right?”


And then the homie steps into those crosshairs and puts the money up, only for this nigga to go right back in jail a week later. Only this time, it’s even more money—$162k—that’s keeping him hemmed up on unpaid child support.

But apparently there are people out there that love to befriend alleged serial pedophiles and waste their hard earned tax returns on them, because despite his decaying husk of a career and appetite for destroying the sanctity of underage girls, it appears the self-proclaimed Pied Piper of R&B is back on the streets.

According to People, he was released on Saturday after an anonymous payment absolved him of his unpaid child support.

R. Kelly has been released from jail for the second time in two weeks after a payment for the $161,000 in back child support he owed was made anonymously on his behalf.

The 52-year-old singer was seen walking out of Chicago’s Cook County Jail on Saturday, accompanied by his attorney, Steve Greenberg.

Cook County Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Sophia Ansari tells PEOPLE that Kelly was released from custody after the full $161,633 was paid on Saturday morning, but that it’s not immediately clear who paid the sum.

But clearly fed up with finally being held accountable for his litany of heinous actions over the course of the past 30 years, the new and improved refurbished R. Kelly, flanked by his attorney Steve Greenberg, announced his modus operandi moving forward.

“I promise you, we’re going to straighten all this stuff out,” he asserted, keenly unaware that he’ll be spending the rest of his life in prison shortly.


The next hearing in his criminal case is set for March 13.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for y'all to stop putting sugar in grits.



Why aren’t these generous people paying off student loans or mortgages?