Conversations around Ayesha Curry and Nia Long have been brewing online, and women have a lot to say about motherhood, marriage, and what partnership really means.
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While some still see marriage as a covenant of love and commitment, others admit it no longer holds the same value it once did. Complicating the issue are men like Kountry Wayne, who openly says he doesn’t desire marriage but has no problem spending money on women. Now, many are questioning if relationships today have become more transactional than emotional.
Before you roll your eyes, keep reading.
Kountry Wayne had women, and some men, buzzing on social media about his stance on “spending money” on women. During a radio interview, the Georgia native explained that giving money to women is a “spiritual investment.” Comments poured in, with many praising the popular comedian. One said, “A woman’s prayer is stronger than her body.”
It all raises a bigger question: Can marriage be a purely transactional arrangement? Well, it might be.
This conversation about transactional relationships ties into a larger trend: marriage is happening later, or never, for many young people. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), roughly 26 to 28% of Black women marry before the age of 25. Is that shocking…? Not really. Many people simply aren’t ready or don’t desire to be married.
In previous generations, societal norms pushed marriage through expectations of social validation, financial considerations, and even procreation. Today, women are asking: at what cost does submitting to these pressures compromise personal goals and life plans?
The generational shift was highlighted by Ayesha Curry’s recent comment, which shook the internet. “I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to get married,” Curry shared during a podcast interview. “I just thought that I was going to be a career girl and that’s it.” Though she never envisioned her life as a wife, life led her down a path to marry at just 22. Now, don’t get it twisted, Curry loves being a wife and a mother, but she still has desires to explore other areas of her life. Now, who can be mad at that?
Since the now-viral clip surfaced, social media remained split. Some criticized her, saying “she was embarrassing her husband,” while others even said “she is oversharing in interviews.” Some people applauded her for speaking the truth.
“Y’all think she’s oversharing, but there are A LOT of who got swept up in their relationships and their partner’s career, putting themselves to the side,” one TikTok user posted. “Her story is important for validating those feelings in other women.”
Most women not only understood Curry, but they were applauding her for saying the quiet part out loud: marriage and motherhood can easily shift one’s identity. “I need Ayesha Curry to keep talking because she is living one of my greatest fears,” Scottie Beam posted on Threads.
“She’s telling her truth, and people are only mad at her because she shattered the illusion that a husband and kids are the source of a woman’s happiness, and they’re not,” another Threads user said.
Above everything else, it’s all a reminder that these “picture-perfect” relationships don’t guarantee fulfillment.
And then there’s Nia Long, who openly shared the challenges she’s faced in love and partnership. “I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was willing to give up my life to be someone’s wife or girlfriend…ever. Period,” the “Love Jones” actress shared. When it comes to love and marriage for the title of being a “wife,” Long has never been a subscriber. Letting romance overshadow her legacy as an acting veteran is not in her ministry, and some women understand entirely.
Today’s women are looking at the traditional blueprint of marriage and motherhood and asking the hard question: What is the return on my investment? The broader conversation has revealed that women should not settle for the ideology of being a mother and a wife, claiming they have fulfilled their life’s mission, when they have more to offer.
“I’m glad women are admitting this kind of stuff,” one Threads user posted. “We need to be honest with each other and stop perpetuating the illusions manufactured by misogyny and patriarchal systems.”
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