Got a Sunny D Zedong Supporter or Someone Almost as Stupid in Your Life? Dump ’Em

Aude Guerrucci-Pool/Getty Images
Aude Guerrucci-Pool/Getty Images

After 22 years of marriage, Gayle McCormick was suddenly no longer caught up in the rapture of love with her husband. McCormick is 73, a retired prison guard and a self-described “Democrat leaning toward socialist.” In other words, she is Bernie Sanders with a vagina.


So when the ultraliberal Dorothy Zbornak found out that her husband had taken shelter in the basket of deplorables last November, she told bae:

I gotta go. I gotta leave.
So please don’t make it hard for me.
I’ve gave enough, I’m tired of love,
I gotta let it go

Or whatever the elder-statement vanilla latte with almond milk (which is tasty, so no shade) equivalent of this is.

“It totally undid me that he could vote for Trump,” McCormick explained to Reuters. She went on to add that she felt “betrayed” by his support for Sunny D Zedong. I couldn’t imagine lying in bed next to anyone who felt that marginalized people could benefit from a Sunny D Zedong administration because it would “awaken them,” much less the fool who would make a willful choice to play the role of Smithers and unleash the hounds.

Then McCormick shared a word:

I felt like I had been fooling myself. It opened up areas between us I had not faced before. I realized how far I had gone in my life to accept things I would have never accepted when I was younger.


There are a few white women whose words can send me on an emotional roller coaster: Fiona Apple, whatever the song; half of Mariah Carey, especially when singing about loving someone like a holiday Duncan Hines yellow cake; Kelly Clarkson on, like, two or three tracks; Bonnie Raitt when she sings, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” I’m adding Gayle McCormick to the list.

Typically, we think of McCormick only at the grocery store when deciding on seasoning, but this shit, this shit right here, is a guide to life. I’m not sure what the dating scene is like at 73, but if it’s anything like Netflix’s Grace and Frankie, she ought to be fine. If not, there’s always masturbation. Don’t make that face. T-Boz told y’all in 1996 that ain’t nothing wrong with making it feel good.


McCormick understands what support of 45 means. Unlike some people, she did not try to humanize the inhumane act of voting for that wretched, imbecilic man who surrounds himself with the axis of evil: bad suits, KFC and white supremacists. While many have tried to duck the moral quandary that being associated with a deplorable presents, it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so.

Reuters reports:

The rancor has not dissipated as it has in the aftermath of other recent contentious U.S. elections. A Reuters/Ipsos opinion poll shows it has worsened, suggesting a widening of the gulf between Republicans and Democrats and a hardening of ideological positions that sociologists and political scientists say increases distrust in government and will make political compromise more difficult.


Sixteen percent said they have stopped talking to a family member or friend because of the election—up marginally from 15 percent. That edged higher, to 22 percent, among those who voted for Democrat Hillary Clinton. Overall, 13 percent of respondents said they had ended a relationship with a family member or close friend over the election, compared to 12 percent in October.


Ended things with people like this fool, as Reuters reports:

“It’s been pretty rough for me,” said Rob Brunello, 25, of Mayfield Heights, Ohio, a truck driver who faced a backlash from friends and family for backing Trump.


He can drive his truck to hell.

Now more than ever, people need to draw a line in the sand when it comes to support for a man who is more or less special education Adolf Hitler wrapped in cantaloupe coloring. That said, based on the readership ’round these parts (but hello, new white readers—I see you and, in some cases, block you), only a handful of y’all likely have to face a 45 voter. No worries; I have other tips.


Like, people who follow Dr. Umar Johnson: Block them.

Black men who assist the likes of Tomi Lahren: Send them to the virtual island of ignored texts.


Black Republicans who excuse the nouveau Jim Crow initiative among their own: Mute it and boot it.

Friends and kinfolk who lament the “feminization of the black man”: Tell them that hell is a hypermasculinity addiction and that they should fry in it already and stop making the rest of us suffer.


The same goes for sexism, transphobia, homophobia and other degrees of prejudice that ultimately grow from the root of a dumb-ass-bitch tree. You may end up part of the family tree that is chopped off and burned into sage, but you won’t have to inhale as much stupidity in your life. I am constantly sweeping idiocy from my Facebook homepage as if I’ve got a broom at Chateau Sheree and a camera crew waiting for me to find something to do.

Because of these deplorables, their white fragility and desperate need for an ego boost, a 70-year-old D student who knows nothing about government is running the country and wrecking our last nerves with his nonstop controversy creations. None of us need any additional headaches in our lives. So, beloveds, be like Gayle McCormick and tell yourself that it ain’t nothing to cut that bitch off.


It won’t stop the chaos surrounding us all, but it will clear some of the mess right in front of you.

Michael Arceneaux is the author of "I Can't Date Jesus," which will be released July 24, 2018 by Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, but go ahead and pre-order it now.



I believe it.

My apologies if what I say does not come across as articulate but what I noticed during this election cycle was women of a “certain” age supported Hillary and my theory about that is women of that age saw themselves in Hillary, the judgment of not being tough enough, being too emotional, not attractive, the pantsuits, her voice and all of these judgments coming from some male including their spouses. Some serious lines were drawn,

I wouldn’t be surprised if more strained relationships of this age group end as Trump and his administration continues their path of action.