ABC: Fires in Southwest 'Like a War Zone'; People in Gaza: "Define 'War Zone' Exactly."
USAT: BHO: "Hey America, Remember that $83B I Didn't Want Bush to Use for Iraq? I'ma Need that Right Quick…"
LAT: License to Il: Kim Jong Spends $0 Campaigning, Keeps Job Anyway
NYT: Standoff with Pirates Shows US Has Limits; So Do Vietnam, Current Recession
CNN: Pittsburgh Cop Killer 'May Have Been' White Supremacist; He's Alive, So Let's Assume He Still Is
BG: Prez Urges Americans to Refinance Mortgages; America: "Uh…You First"
WP: CDC: Food Safety Efforts Have Stalled in Recent Years But Your iPhone Has Totally Sick Apps
THR: Dutch TV Show Exonerates Bin Laden; Osama Sends Mix Tape Asking "Why You Tryna Steal My Shine, B?"
ESPN: Hi, USC? This is the NCAA. We Suspect Reggie Bush of Wrong Doing. No; We Don't Mean that Lateral.
HP: Arizona State Thinks Obama Unready for Honorary Degree. Arizona State. A-R-I-Z-O-N-A S-T-A-T-E.
BBC: Obama Sees 'Hope' for Economy Especially Since He's Paid Either Way
ND: RT @God: Church Puts Passion of Christ on Twitter
AP: Cops Shoot a Black Man on His Porch; Buzz Sure Perfectly Good Explanation Forthcoming
AJE: GM To Get Mollywhooped Again: US Courts Allow Apartheid Cases
MM:"CBC: Congressional Boot Lickers"; Buzz: "Daaaaaaang"
ESPN: At Augusta, a Tiger Lurks…
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