Pundits and politicos were shocked Friday when a spokesperson for the Conservative Political Action Conference publicly admitted that former Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele was the party’s token black guy. Although the comment was the least racist thing you might hear at CPAC, people were stunned by Steele’s reaction, whispering among themselves:
“Wait ... he didn’t know?”
CPAC is the country’s biggest and most influential national
Klan conservative political convention, uniting disparate entities like white people, Caucasian people, more white people and Ben Carson. Essentially the Republican Freaknik, the conference facilitates the National Rifle Association’s mission to purchase the souls of politicians by gathering them all in one location so the NRA can roll the wheelbarrows of cash into one room.
At Friday night’s Ronald Reagan Dinner, between courses of lettuce salad and water-marinated chicken, Ian Walters, communications director of the American Conservative Union, which hosts CPAC, said that the RNC elected Steele to serve as chairman from 2009 to 2011 “because he was a black guy, and that was the wrong thing to do.”
There were reportedly gasps in the room, but The Hill, which reported the story, could not confirm if the gasps were because of Walters’ comment or because the crowd was delighted at the mashed potato pie being served for dessert.
Meanwhile, Steele, who was in the room when Walters made the statement, sat quietly, neglecting to put the promise of Walters’ future ass whipping on his mama, on everything or even on his grandmama’s grave.
“I wanted to talk to [CPAC Chair] Matt Schlapp first, but I think it’s painfully stupid what he said,” Steele said. “If he feels that way, I’d like him to come say that to my face.”
Uh-oh. The black part is coming out of Steele! Steele is about to tell us how he’d drag Walters’ ass all over the floor by his ponytail! Or maybe Steele is going to explain how white people say racist things because they don’t fear the prospect of being punched in the mouth, but he’s about to change that!
And then I’d like him to look at my record and see what I did. I can’t believe an official of CPAC would go onstage in front of an audience and say something like that. I’ve been a strong supporter of CPAC for many years and I thought they raised them better than that here.
When asked if he thought Walters’ remark was indicative of the state of the Republican Party, Steele said that he “was not going to project that out.”
Apparently they picked the right one.