I usually don’t blog on the weekends, but it’s Saturday, and though I’m busy trying to figure out the easiest way to scrape off a wallpaper border, I did stop to take a short break.

I grabbed the Ulta booklet that came in the mail. The fuchsia and lavender cover suggested I “sizzle this season,” and hopeful their all-day lipstick was on sale, I spent 15 minutes flipping through it. (Why 15 minutes? Because that’s how long I had to wait for the Piranha Wallpaper Remover to work. And by the way, it’s great stuff. Bought it at Lowes.)

On page 42 of the booklet was a product I’d never heard of before, but wouldn’t be caught dead buying because of the name: fatgirlslim. I guess the manufacturers thought if they smushed the three words together into one, it would be less offensive, or perhaps more trendy. Or both. Fatgirlslim was being advertised right next to fatgirlsleep, by the way.

These are slimming body lotions, apparently. “Slim” is $29 for a six-ounce jar, “sleep” is $38 for the same size. Here’s how the ad read in the Ulta circular:

fatgirlslim has QuSome® encapsulated caffeine molecules for quick and targeted delivery of the skin-slimming stuff of choice of supermodels, spokespeople, and other celebs. fatgirlsleep is formulated with our encapsulated slenderiZZZe complex™ that releases dimple diminishers and soothing lavender for up to 6 hours.

Advertisement

If that’s all I had to go on, I would think this product put caffeine in the lotion to help me lose weight. Fortunately, there’s Google. Unfortunately, I wasn’t wrong: Caffeine is a common, cellulite-fighting ingredient.

Still, I read about 40 different reviews, and the comments were all over the place. Most, though, seemed in favor of the product. However, of many who described themselves, none were fat girls.

Despite its name, fatgirlslim only claims to smooth the appearance of cellulite by breaking down clumps of fat cells and improving circulation. Like I said, the reviews were mixed – at best.

Advertisement

I’ve never had to deal with cellulite, thank goodness, so never looked into products like this. I have heard, however, that there are a lot of ineffective creams and spa treatments out there that women spend millions on each year, hoping they’ll work. I guess if we’re not dumping money into the diet industry, we’re dumping it into the beauty industry.

As for fatgirlslim, not only is the name misleading, it’s unkind, as is fatgirlsleep.

But what do I know, right?

My so-called fabulous shape is due to airbrushing. I have small boobs and cellulite.  ~  Sienna Miller

Advertisement

“Friend” me on the Less Leslie Facebook page!

Leslie J. Ansley is an award-winning journalist and entrepreneur who blogs daily for TheRoot. She lives in Raleigh, NC.