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Earl Thomas Is Having the Worst Birthday Ever

Illustration for article titled Earl Thomas Is Having the Worst Birthday Ever
Photo: Todd Olszewski (Getty Images)

Instead of spending his birthday hurling confetti and devouring chocolate cake, Baltimore Ravens safety Earl Thomas has some explaining to do.

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TMZ Sports reports that on April 13, police were called to a home in Austin, Texas, at approximately 3:41 a.m. Upon their arrival, they discovered “a black female wearing an orange sweater with a knife in her hand, chasing a shirtless black male, with a pistol in his hand around a vehicle.”

The woman in question would be Thomas’ wife, Nina, but make yourself some popcorn or something, because the story gets even crazier from there.

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According to court docs retrieved by TMZ, Nina and Earl had gotten into an argument about Earl’s drinking; and after Seth, Earl’s brother, came to pick Earl up, Nina got nosey and checked Earl’s Snapchat to see what they were up to. She then discovered a video of Earl booed up with another woman, immediately activated “No This Nigga Didn’t” mode and tracked him down to a nearby Airbnb, where she discovered Seth and her husband in bed together with “other women.”

Presumably boiling with rage, she then pulled out a 9mm Beretta and put it to Earl’s head in order to “scare him.” But unbeknownst to her, there was a bullet in the chamber despite her opting to remove the magazine prior to their confrontation.

That’s when all hell broke loose.

Thanks to cell phone footage captured by one of the women that Earl had no business being butt-ass naked with, police have evidence of Nina repeatedly striking Earl in the nose as he attempted to wrestle the gun away from his wife. Nina also made it a point to wave the gun at the alleged mistresses and yell, “I got something for all you hoes!” while one of Nina’s homegirls that she brought with her to confront Earl was “aggressively swinging” a knife during the altercation.

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I can’t be the only one who thinks this is one bad wig away from sounding like a Tyler Perry movie.

Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed at the time and nobody but Earl’s pride died, but police decided to arrest Nina and her two homegirls in tow because apparently it’s illegal to beat your husband up and shove a gun in his face.

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And somehow this was all kept secret until today...which just so happens to be Earl’s birthday.

Nina was charged with burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, family violence and was also hit with an emergency protective order that requires her to stay the hell away from Earl and his alleged mistress(es). She’s since bonded out, while Earl didn’t face any charges.

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For their part, the Ravens, who have a zero-tolerance policy in regards to domestic violence after that whole Ray Rice debacle, seem to be taking a wait and see approach.

“We became aware of the situation when we read and saw it on the reports late last night and early this morning,” the team said in a statement.

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The seven-time Pro Bowler, however, took to Instagram on Wednesday to address the matter in a since-deleted post.

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“It’s really not anybody’s business. It pisses me off that it got out, but it’s the world we live in today,” he said. “Stuff like this happens, bro...We’re trying to live the best life we possibly can but sometimes it doesn’t go as planned. Just pray for us as we go through this stuff.”

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Considering Earl doesn’t appear to be the aggressor in this instance, I expect the Ravens to retain his services. But should they opt to cut him, they’ll take a gruesome $25 million cap hit.

We’ll keep you updated as this story develops.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for ya'll to stop putting sugar in grits.

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DISCUSSION

“it’s the world we live in today,” he said. “Stuff like this happens, bro...We’re trying to live the best life we possibly can but sometimes it doesn’t go as planned.”

Having an orgy with your brother and a couple side chicks is “the world we live in today”?